Oblivion - Chapter Two

by BlackAshes

Published April 17, 2015

12+ Violence

In Oblivion

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                                                               ☸ Chapter Two ☸

I had been so caught up in trying to get out of that thing, I hadn’t even thought about where I was, or why I was there… Then it dawned on me.

What was my name? I couldn’t even remember my bloody name! This annoyed me for some reason. Angered me even. To have no memories, nothing. I just mysteriously woke up in some… Machine! Who on earth put me there! I take a deep breath, just to calm down.

After I take a breath to calm down, I try to get a look at my surroundings. The lab is ancient, looks more like some kind of tomb to me. I walk around a lab table, look the lab over. A simple room, though something obvious is missing. THERE WAS NO DOOR! I was completely sealed in, no windows, no door, nothing!

Was this some sort of sick joke? Was it a dream? I close my eyes tightly, hoping I’ll open them, and this all will have been a nightmare. I slowly lift my right eyelid. When I see my surroundings, I open my eyes fully and groan. Still the same lab with no doors.

Maybe the machine I was in will have some clues as to where I am? I turn back and look at it, my eyes look it over, big black letters are printed on top they read:

Cryo-Tube – Model 5.0

Cryo-Tube? What does a Cryo-Tube do.. I shake my head and look at the rest of it. Under the big black words it has a metal plate, with a name carved on it. I peer up at the name, maybe they put the person’s name on the Cryo-tube? The metal slate says:

Ash(Ashley) Lancaster

Was that my name? Ash? I simply stare at the Cryo-Tube. Finally I notice a little metal slate on another part of it, it says:

Personal Belongings

“Might be something useful in there…” I mumble and walk up to it. I tap it, wave my hand in front of it, and hit it a couple of times, but nothing happens. After a while, a little pad pops out of the Cryo-tube, it looks like a solar panel. Strange… I can remember stuff like solar panels, and how to read, but nothing like how I got in here.

I turn back to thinking about the little pad that popped out.

“Hmm…” I put my finger on it, and a blue line goes up and down, scanning it. After a while, it gives a little beeping sound and flashes green. It retracts quickly, I nearly jump when it does. The little metal plate that said personal belongings now pops out, revealing a drawer behind it.

I peer into it, there’s only little black stick. I pick up the black thing and turn it over in my hands. It was a bit thick, and curved inwards at the middle, perfect to hold. It also had a neon blue ring around it near the bottom.

“What on earth is this?” I mumble quietly. There’s a little button that slides up awards on it. I hold it in one hand, and slide the button up with my thumb, the same time I do, a blue light flashes out of it.

“Ahh!” I scream and jump back, dropping it.

It fell to the floor and the blue light disappeared. I simply stare at it, as if it is going to attack me any second. Curiosity got the better of me, I slowly bent down and picked it up. All the while I held it farther away from me.

The button had gone back to its original position, I slowly slide it up, and the blue light flashes out again. This time I don’t scream and run, just stare at it. It stays there. I move the black stick back and forth, all the while the blue light seems to be attached to it.

“I wonder…” I mumble, and eye a tall, thick stem growing in through a crack in the tiles. I swing the black stick around towards the stem. The blue light follows it, slicing cleanly through the stem.

“Well. That was easy…”I think to myself. It feels strange though, it feels like… I’ve used this before… Where would I have used this though, I had no memories of it. I had no memories of anything!

I slide the button down on the little black stick thingy, the light retracts as I do. I roll it over in my hands and spot words on the bottom of it. They say:

Energy Sword – Model 2.5 – Made by Techno Inc.

Energy sword huh… Sure was easy to use, I felt some sort of weird connection to it. Oh well, right now I don’t know what to do. There’s nothing I can do. I sigh and black up against the wall, I sink down to a sitting position and put my head back against the wall.

It was hot in here, I stare at the vent on the ceiling and wish it was working. Wait. The vent on the ceiling…

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
Josie98
Review
Josie98 wrote a review Review · Apr 18, 2015

Hey there,

So Im here to review...:P I literally hate and REALLY avoid coming in during the middle of something, and especially since there is just one chapter before this one I have a strong urge to just go read it, but I dont have time to read it and still write a review tonight. :/ So since your little note asking for reviews caught my eye I'll write one up real fast! :) I hope it is helpful!!!


"I take a deep breath, just to calm down.

After I calm down, I try to get a look at my surroundings."

Ok so to me this sounds very very wrong! Just the way it's worded! :/ There are a lot of things that you could do to change it, one way being > "I take in my surroundings after a few minutes" (you can leave out the "after Im calm" all together OR slip it in somewhere else!!! :)

"I mumble and walk up to it. I tap it, wave my hand in front of it, and hit it a couple of times, but nothing happens."
There are a lot of "it"s in this part... several places you could pull one out and it would sound better!!!

All right Im done with the constructive criticism now...:P

I really liked this!!! :) you are doing a great job, and I like the way its flowing. I'll have to go and check out the first chapter, and Im definitely looking forward to reading more chapters!!! :)

Speaking of which if you will message me or drop me a note on my wall I would be more then happy to review any later chapters you have! :)

Hope this was helpful!!! :)

Josie

Thanks! & Yeah, this is still a WIP, working out all the kinks >.<

User avatar
Kanome
Review
Kanome wrote a review Review · Apr 17, 2015

Hello, Kanome here with a review. (Using mobile, so review won't be long.)

Well, first of all, when you mentioned the energy sword, it reminded me of Star Wars. I was like.... Really? I mean, I like it, don't get me wrong, but energy sword sounds too... Cliche. Name it something original, yeah?

Secondly, there was a part of your chapter where you put a question but you used an exclamation point. Make sure you use this: ?!

Thirdly, I loved every aspect of this chapter. We figured out the girl's name, and the setting was well-detailed.

Good job.
Keep writing and PM me the next chapter. I can't wait to read more of your work c:

Kanome

Thanks! Still trying to come up with a good name for the sword.. >.< My brain just refuses to produce ideas sometimes..



You are going to love some of your characters because they are you, or some facet of you, and you are going to hate some characters for the same reason.
— Anne Lamott