The window is crying the sky gives it tears. THe house is deppressed watch the wind make it dissappear. The love in the house now gfone forever, the family and friends dissappear together. A night thats supposed to be joyess is now a day of amplified sadness. Destruction and caos inside one person, whose eyes are the windows and whose body is the house. She feels as though a gentle gust of wind could blow her life away. Breaking down on the inside crying on the out. Her heart is broken again and again. The losing of her family and the loss of her friends. Her only happiness is in her dreams and the hope she wont awaken. Right before she ends her suffering, her brother stands by her side. Her fights for her safty but one day he fails with his life. She once again becomes the house with the tears that would give a rock sympathy. She goes to school with a happy faee although she feels real weak. With another brother who dosn't see and a sister so true it hurts. She misses her first brother and sister the ones closest to her heart. THe new and the old both as close as the other. Though different I love them as much as the other. At night as I sleep I feel my old brother's arms protectively around me. I wake up in tears because he is no longer here. It's hard to live without him, I think of him constantly, always trying to bring him back wich hurts most of all. During the day I feel my sister watching me fail. I cry inside so nobody knows but my sister and brother who are no longer here and whose love i feel surrounding me I always seem to fear. I am the house my eyes are the windows and the sky gives me tears. I want my older brother abd sister to be here by my side in actual body and soul. To hug me and tell me it will all be alright. The new and the old such a great combination. But loss seperates the two. The wind blows stronger and stronger blowing me away one by one.
I really like your poem, it sends this inexplicable message, i do however believe you need to go through and seperate a little bit, or else it seems like a big ball of words, seperating keeps it clear and short.
you have a real sense of power in your voice and i hope that you never let anyone take that away from you.
"At night as I sleep I feel my old brother's arms protectively around me. I wake up in tears because he is no longer here. It's hard to live without him, I think of him constantly, always trying to bring him back wich hurts most of all" this is my favorite line, i feel like after someone dies its hard to move on, and your mind tries to ease the blow while you sleep. I love this, please keep writing so i can finally read someone's work without yawning