Just a very short solo renga I wrote on a long car ride. Not a "real" renga, and not the best poem in its own right, but I like it anyway. C + C appreciated.
***
husky whistle of the AC
under stone roads worse for wear
eyes trial
wistful rainbow
howls to the blue
shuffling leaves
spiral behind the curtain
of futures told
broken paths
hidden in the rubble
warlord wall
burnt to blackness
shields the pinned
avatar of lies
poker face wide
mockingbirds dead
of tiny telling tales
hurdling flames
one lonely rose
for all of the night
hollow faces
sink away
without eyes
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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Dude, go read a renga. Perhaps this one. It's far superior to mine, of course, but it should give you a general idea of the genre. Keep in mind that it was originally a sort of game with many poets working together; the object was to creatively link the previous verse to your own, not to form some sort of narrative. In fact, the verses were so free-standing that the first one broke off and became the haiku, while some of the middle ones eventually evolved into senryu. Fun fact.
Thanks; I'm glad you liked it. If you like renga, you can find some more here.
Hey BirthdayPirate,
Wow renga is cool,and ur poem is cool too.
Keep writing.
-Ani
Ahoy BirthdayPirate,
Stick to pillaging ships until you can coherently piece together your thoughts.
Best,
Brad
oh! so that's what a renga is!
sorry i don't know very much about that kind of thing
I'm only in year 8 so I don't know that many kinds of poems
That doesn't mean I'm dumb though (does it?)
I'm not trying to say anything, really. It's a renga; the whole point is to connect several little slices of life, with the focus on the connections. I'm glad you liked it, though.
Cool poem
but I didn't understand what you were trying to say
that might have been because i wasn't reading properly or the fact that my eyes wre closed (joke!)
Charlotte