For peace of heart,
I sought alone.
It is an art;
It must be born.
For peace of mind,
I roamed this world.
And being blind,
I have been hurled.
For peace of soul,
I traveled long.
It was a goal,
And it was strong.
For peace itself
I looked and looked;
I fought myself,
Then I was hooked.
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Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,738 Reviews
This is a beautifully written piece and very enjoyable to read. I love the picture you posted with it as well. It fits the poem so well its scary, the imagery of the poem and picture coencide greatly with each other. I give you much kudos for finding one that had such an impact i find it very difficult to do that. I really cant say anything bad about this piece other than to put it in stanza form but from the looks of it you tried doing that, so a great job well done. Keep writing.
P.S
I like how you put quotation marks in your title that is something I do as well.
Hi Sleeplessend, thank you!!!
Good luck on your writing!
Nice imagery here! Very enjoyable read. Although, I would love to see this in stanzas. To me it felt slightly like it drones some, but I believe that feeling would be eradicated if stanzas were added. Maybe something like this...
"For peace of heart,
I sought alone.
It is an art;
It must be born.
For peace of mind,
I roamed this world.
And being blind,
I have been hurled.
For peace of soul,
I traveled long.
It was a goal,
And it was strong.
For peace itself
I looked and looked;
I fought myself,
Then I was hooked."
Formatted this way keeps my interest, and gives it structure. I love how you start each 'idea' with "For peace of..." Fantabulous!
Great job! Keep writing,
~Rainn
Thanks a lot!
And actually, I wrote it in stanzas.. it just didn't let me post it that way.
Hi there, well this is a beautiful poem to me. So I will come with the quick review for you. Your poem is short and emphasizes each word given in order to give a powerful impact. Here, your poem successfully delivering the meaning.
Nice metaphor.
These verses seem a little out of track. I did not find a strong correlation of the previous sentence. Perhaps you meant to convey something, but still need some more lines as a hint.
I can see the rhythm here. Also with the last part. It sounds so well and nice when you tried to put some. That was a good idea to try and also fun to use. Isn't it?
Only in the last part of the poem, obviously you're confined to the rhythm made. You overly cautious and tied to the rhythm that is created until it appear like a compulsion. Let your poem has a natural flow than forced to follow the rhythm of less worthwhile and not be as you expect. Keep writing!
Kudos, cheers.
Thank you so much, DreamWork!! I appreciate your advice.
Good luck on your writing.