The Orphan (M+)

The door slammed shut. It slammed in her face as fast as her mother’s hand at once pierced the skin of her upper lip. The air around her smelt like the inside of a new coffin and the dust settled on the social worker’s desk, dancing like Christmas snow before it hugged the other members of the fallen.

“Henrietta, my name is Kelly, I am your case worker. This is Ms. Burnham, the Head Nurse of the boarding school and orphanage you’ll be moving to.” She knelt down to my face as I frowned, seated in the wooden chair. “Say hello, don't be rude.”

Without looking up she apprehensively replied, “Hello…” The case worker moaned under her breath and walked out of the victorian styled room with Ms. Burnham, a concerned look upon her face. She stared down at her knees, the bruises shaped like perfect pupils that saw into her grim reality. Her skirt was crumbled and soiled with dirt and urine. She shivered as she recalled the memory of when she first got the skirt. She thought it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen…

“Henrietta! Darling! Come down here at once, Wilbert has a gift for you!” Her mother cooed for her in between erotic giggles directed towards her lover. She knew what that was at the time, she saw it in the videos that her mother kept hidden in her room.

“Oh, Henrietta! You look so malnourished! I know exactly what will cheer you up!” Wilbert smiled at her as she entered the room. He knelt down to her, pinched her already rose red cheeks, and handed her a brown box wrapped with purple ribbon. She stared at it for the longest time, completely estranged to the idea of being given a gift by someone she barely knew.

“Well goodness me, child. I have never met someone so puzzled about a gift. Open it.” He said laughing, leading me to one of the arm chairs by the fire place. I sat down and gently pulled on the ribbon, it fell away and almost gleamed against the glow of the fireplace. Wilbert lifted the lid on the box and her eyes lit up like a store window. She lifted the skirt from the box and held it in her grazed hands. The soft cotton fabric slid between her fingers and the pink ruffles on the box pleats hung to the sides of her hands. She stared at it in awe. It was the first new piece of clothing she had ever gotten.

“It’s…beautiful…” she whispered while gently running thumb and index fingers between the pleats. “I’m glad you like it. Why don’t you go try it on. I would love to see you in it.” Wilbert smiled at her with a glint of joy in his eyes. She beamed and ran up the stares, her bare feet thumping on the floor boards. She quickly changed out of her torn jeans and slipped on the skirt in her mother’s bedroom and stared at herself in the mirror. She ran her fingers down the skirt’s edges one more time, completely ignorant to the hooting laughter erupting from her mother, and the groaning resonating out of Wilbert downstairs. She gracefully walked down the stairs towards the lounge room, being careful to act like a lady as that’s what she ought to do in such a womanly skirt, she thought to herself.

As she walked into the room Wilbert crawled off of her mother and gazed at her, smiling broadly with his crooked tooth overlapping his bottom lip in the corner. “Now that’s how a young lady should look. Doesn’t she look stunning, Gretel?” Her mother looked her up and down and smiled at her for the first time in days. “She does look better. But I better go fix up the turkey, run along now Henri.” Her mother stood and pranced out of the kitchen, the short skirt she was wearing revealing her underwear as she walked. She turned to leave when Wilbert called at her.

“Come here, girly.” He beckoned her over to the lounge and placed his hand on her back. She felt awkward in that moment but did nothing about it because her mother would be angry if she embarrassed her in front of company. “Now, I got you such a lovely gift, yes? It was expensive, well, now I think you owe me a favour too. Don’t you?” Wilbert rubbed his hand up and down her back, and gently ran his fingers through the auburn ringlet curls on the side of her face. She looked down at her toes and nodded. Wilbert tilted her head up and stroked her cheek with his fingers, “now the thing is little lady, you mustn't tell your mother.” She nodded once more and took his hand as she led him from the dining room to the staircase.

“Gretel, my love, Henrietta is just showing me a picture she has kindly drawn to say thank you for my beautiful gift.” He cooed to her mother. Her knees knocked together as she saw the bulge in his pants.

“Okay Wilby, don’t be too long!”

He led her up the stairs and into her bedroom at the end of the hall. The yellow paint was peeling off the walls and the white floor boards were stained from paints she had spilt when she was younger. Wilbert released her hand and sat on her bed. He patted the space beside him and she walked over slowly, feeling her heart race and her palms sweat as she got closer. He placed his hand on her lap and gripped her thigh, “you don't have to be scared of me, just hold still and I won’t hurt you. Okay?” She nodded and her lungs began screaming for air as the fear took over her. Wilbert laid her back and climbed on top of her, and smiled, “give us a smile, darling.” He said, lifting her skirt. She forced a smile as a tear rolled down her face. She closed her eyes as she felt his weight fall on top of her and his breath fasten…

“Henrietta! We have been calling you. Answer when you are called, please.” The case worker knelt beside the chair and looked at her, searching for any sign of response. She kept looking at her skirt, ignoring what was happening around her.

“Henrietta, I am going to leave you here now with Ms. Bernham. You don't need to be scared anymore, you’re safe here. No one is going to harm you.” She lightly tapped the top of her hand and exited the room, leaving her with Ms. Bernham.

She looked up and Ms. Bernham pulled up a chair next to her. She looked at her with interest and sympathy. “Hello Miss Henrietta, you can call me what you like, anything except mum because I am not your mother now. I have a few rules before I show you to your new room and introduce you to your room mate. First, lights are out for bed strictly at nine pm, all homework must be completed before this time. You must be at every meal on time, seated in your designated seat, and in full uniform. And most importantly, you must not interact with the boy’s orphanage down the street except on Sundays, because that’s when we all have church in town. Do you understand, Miss Henrietta?” She smiled and nodded her head, her messy auburn curls bouncing on her shoulders like a yo-yo. “Well then, follow me.”

She followed Ms. Bernham up two flights of stairs. They were such elegant stairs, she thought to herself. Each step was of the reddest burgundy and was patterned with black flowers, accompanied by a balustrade adorned with iron. She ran her fingers along the cold iron, and marvelled at the paintings of Head Nurses that had cared for the orphanage across centuries.

“Here we are. Room 25. Your bed is the one beneath the window, you’ll find your things already on the bed alongside your freshly pressed uniform and toiletry kit, complete with a toothbrush, toothpaste, soap and a hairbrush.” She opened the door to a newfangled smell of clean linen and fresh clothes. She stared at the pink floral patterned walls with flat wooden columns that travelled up the corners. The beds had unused purple blankets that looked warm and comforting. She was overwhelmed with the comfort and homeliness of the room, and she turned to face Ms. Bernham with a look somewhere between gratitude and bewilderment.

“Is something wrong, Miss Henrietta?” She asked concerned. “Do you not like this room?” Henrietta shook her head and smiled, “No, it’s perfect. It’s the most beautiful room I have ever seen.” Ms. Bernham smiled and placed a hand on Henrietta’s shoulder, “make yourself at home, because you’re here until we can find you a new family. Your room mate will be up from bathing soon, her name is Nancy.” She turned to leave and closed the door behind her, leaving Henrietta to wonder around the room.

She walked to her bed and unlocked her suitcase. Her mother had packed her favourite teddy bear, although it had been patched up badly due to it being thrown around on occasion, underwear and a blanket just in case. It was filled with empty space, much like her life now that she didn't know where she was going or how long she would be in this place for. She lifted it and slid it under her bed and picked up the new uniform resting at the end of the bed. The red quilt, white blouse and black blazer were folded elegantly, seemingly waiting to be worn. She marvelled at them, lightly touching them in fear they might fray.

“Good evening, you must be Henrietta.” A voice said from behind her. Henrietta turned with a start and looked into the pale, brown eyed, freckled face of Nancy.

“Hello, you must be Nancy.” She said smiling politely.

“Yes, I am. If you need anything let me know. Like some deodorant. But I am off to sleep now. Pleasure to meet you, Henrietta.” She paced to her bed after looking Henrietta up and down with a deep scorn printed on her face.

Henrietta shuffled in discomfort and pulled her blankets back, she crawled into bed and stared at the pristine white ceiling until she fell asleep.

The next morning she awoke to Nancy already dressed and making her bed. She scoffed in Henrietta’s direction and headed out the door towards the eating hall. Henrietta quickly made her bed and scavenged through the toiletry bag she was given to find deodorant. She found a spray can of perfume and spritzed it around her. She rushed to get dressed and raced to the eating hall after Nancy. She pushed open the heavy tin doors to a hall full of talking and laughing girls. She suddenly became self conscious of her appearance. Everyone was elegant looking and clean. A few girls snickered and giggled to their friends as she walked past them towards Ms. Bernham. She watched her black shoes as she approached the Head Nurse.

“Good morning, Henrietta. I assume you slept well.” She asked when Henrietta was beside her table. Henrietta nodded and smiled at the other adults at the table.

“Well, you can find a space just at that table over there, dear.” She pointed to any empty space beside a brunette wearing oval shaped glasses. She nodded and walked over to the seat. No one looked up from their breakfast as she sat down. She looked at her cutlery as a waiter placed a plate of buttered toast, a bowl of fruit, and a small carton of chocolate milk in front of her. She smiled and picked up her fork, when she noticed Nancy pointing at her with a friend and giggling. Her stomach dropped and she felt completely alone and separated from everyone else. She hastily finished her breakfast and followed the other girls to the common room where Ms. Bernham addressed them in a formal manner.

“Good Sunday girls.” She greeted cheerfully.

“Good Sunday, Ms. Bernham.” The girls all echoed. Henrietta quietly responded in a whisper.

“Don’t forget to put on your sun hats, it’s warm out. And remember to act like young ladies when we greet the boys out the front.”

“Yes, Ms. Bernham.”

Two footmen opened the front doors as the girls filed out in three rows to greet the boys from the orphanage up the street. Ms. Bernham engaged in polite conversation with the head of their orphanage, while the girls then mingled with the boys.

Henrietta watched as girls tossed their hair and laughed at jokes the boys had made. She watched as Nancy and her friends pointed her out to a group of boys dressed formally in blazers with their hair neatly combed. They stared at her and laughed when she smiled at them underneath the curls that collapsed around her eyes. But one boy didn't laugh. He stared back at her with as much interest in her as she had in him. They observed each other until they were ordered to walk towards the white church that sat on the hill just on the outside of town.

She had never been to church and she found it confusing to sing the hymns in Latin. But the building was beautiful. The stained glassed windows beamed when the sunlight hit them. The red curtains that hung behind the Catholic priest glazed in the sunlight. She was sad to leave that church when it was over, but the promise of food called her to join the rest of the group in the garden. She sat by herself beneath a large oak tree with her plate of little sandwiches and watermelon. She nibbled quietly on an egg and lettuce sandwich while the other girls with their filled out shirts laughed eating theirs seated on a picnic blanket with some of the boys. They looked in her direction and stared in wry amusement.

“Don’t worry about it, just ignore them.” A medium built figure stepped in front of her sight and she looked up to see the boy she was staring at before.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I keep staring.” Henrietta responded quietly.

“It’s alright. I’m Benjamin. Nice to meet you.”

“I’m Henrietta.” She replied, girlishly blushing.

“So, you’re new here, huh?” He asked, sitting down beside her.

“Yes, I got here yesterday. A lot of the girls aren’t very welcoming.” She looked down at her lap.

“That’s okay. They’ll warm up to you. You won’t be here long anyway. A pretty young lady like you won’t be in an orphanage for too long.” Benjamin remarked laughing to himself.

“Why is that funny?” she asked, placing her plate on her lap.

“Oh, it’s just because I’ve been here for three years. The girls often leave earlier than we do. Especially ones with hair as red as yours. You’re unique. I’m not.”

Henrietta blushed again. She looked up at Benjamin who was staring at her again. She smiled, embarrassed to be caught blushing.

“You’re very pretty, Henrietta. Did anyone ever tell you that?”

She froze and remembered Wilbert. The cold press of his skin against her. The sound of him moaning as he whispered that she was pretty.

“Yes…but I’ve just never felt it.” She frowned to herself and looked back down to her lap. Benjamin shuffled to move closer to her and she shied further away.

“I’m sorry. If i’m being inappropriate, please tell me.” The concern in his voice turned her head and she smiled into his eyes. “It’s okay.” She replied, because for the first time in years she felt that it was. She felt warm and safe suddenly when he was around.

“You can have a friend in me, Henrietta. If you need one.” He smiled down at her and his eyes gleamed in the sunlight that reflected off her hair.

“I’ve never had a friend before. I would like that, Benjamin.”

Unexpectedly, his hand was on hers. She didn't move it because she didn't mind. It was gentle and kind, and she suddenly felt loved; like she belonged. She intertwined her fingers in his and they sat listening to each other’s stories, and she appreciated every minute that she could talk to someone and be listened to.