Nicolette Chapter one

by Bellarke

Published February 21, 2018

12+

In Nicolette file

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Chapter One:

Nicolette was walking down the halls of her small town high school, alone.

Linus was not at school today, and than left her with the usual bullysome teens.

She puts her phone to her ear and leaves a message got Linus, “I am going to murder you for making me do this by myself. You know how much I hate it when you don't come to school.”

As she goes to put her phone it the pocket of her jeans, it slips, and falls to the floor with a thud.

“Look. Someone dropped their trash.” A voice from behind her says.

Nicolette sighs, and turns to Kayden.

“Did you drop your trash?” He goes to pick it up for her, but she knows better.

“Give it back.” She looks at the blond idiot in front of her.

“Awwe. Does the little girl want it back?” He holds it above his head so than she cannot reach it even if she wanted to try.

Nicolette just stares at him, feeling the eyes of everyone in the hallway on them.

Kayden walks past her, still holding her phone above her head, and walks right to the doors.

Nicolette follows him, clutching her bag to her chest, possessively. Everyone else follows as well.

They are on the third floor of the school building, so they look down at the ground below.

Kayden holds her phone over the rail by just his thumb and index finger. “Should I?” He asks his girlfriend, Lea, as she comes up, and stands right next to him.

Lea is worst than Kayden is. She once took a pair of scissors and cut over half of Nicolette’s hair off in the sixth grade, and did not even get in trouble.

“Do it.” Lea grins at Nicolette. “Then, I would like to see this loser posting her ugly art on instagram.”

“They are better than anything that you can ‘draw’. You traced a stick man in art.” Nicolette points out.

Lea just blinks at her. “Drop the phone.”

Kayden goes to drop it, and Nicolette runs to the rail, ready to jump to save her phone.

Her phone was the only thing that she truly owns, and she got it from Linus. And she was not about to let her phone die, like she did her father.

Kayden drops it, and laughs at her. “Loser.” Then him and Lea walks off.

Nicolette runs down all of the flights of stairs to get to the ground level.

Her phone is not anywhere to be seen. Not even glass from the screen. Nothing at all.

She feels tears prickle at the corner of her eyes, and she runs to the bathroom.

“Did you see the face when he dropped it? It was the so freaking hilarious. Have you seen that video of her that is online?” A voice says from inside the bathroom.

“That one from homecoming?” Another voice says. “Where her and Lukas Foster were making out?”

“Yes.” That voice belongs to Emory Prescott, the cheer squad second in command, right under Lea.

“It is so gross. He was making out with a five. He is an eight and a half, he could have done so much better.”

Nicolette opens the door to the bathroom, matches over to Emory, and the other preppy girl while they just stare at her. “Me? A five? Have you seen yourself?”

The girls both make a “Hmph” sound, and leaves the bathroom.

Nicolette runs and locks the door behind them.

She slides down the door. It is like this every time than Linus isn't at school. But they never actually messes up something of hers.

Now Nicolette will have to prove to her mother that she needs a new one.

💯💯💯💯

Nicolette closes the door to her house, and looks at the bottles than litter the front room. “Mum?”

“I am in the kitchen, Nic.” she hears her mother slur.

“Mom?” She says hesitantly.

“Yeah.” Her mom is looking out the door.

“I need a new phone. Kayden threw mine off off the building.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Don't have the money.”

“Okay.” She feels tears come on, she knows it was gonna be a no. “I am going to bed.”

“G'night.”

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
GayPotato Comment
GayPotato commented Comment · Mar 16, 2018

Gurl!!!!!!!! L-O-V-E!!

Blush**

User avatar
Kanome
Review
Kanome wrote a review Review · Feb 25, 2018

Hi, LizEmo. Kanome here with a review.

NITPICKS:
What is the name of the high school? Make sure you describe the setting and the name of the setting, it will help the reader understand where your characters are at.
Make sure you proofread also. I did read your comment about the autocorrect when you type certain words, so make sure you double check your work on word errors before you publish.
What do all the characters look like? Providing imagery and detail to your characters can help your readers understand the character and what they look like based on the descriptons you provide.

IMPROVEMENT:
You did improve a little bit from the last chapter, which was the prologue. Just make sure give your characters and settings are little more detail.

OVERALL:
Overall, you did a great job. In my opinion, you portrayed how bullying is in the real world. Hopefully throughout the story, this can help your readers understand that bullying is not something you just brush off, it's something serious in the world that needs to be addressed, which has been for a few years now. Keep up the great work, can't wait for the next update. Keep writing!

User avatar
jemming17
Review
jemming17 wrote a review Review · Feb 23, 2018

Hiya, I'm Jessica. I'm just stopping by for a friendly critique! Let's get to it then.

So there isn't a clear setting in this. There is nothing saying where these characters are and if it's a natural place or a place they wouldn't normally be. There is also a spelling error in the phrase: "She puts her phone to her ear and leaves a message got Linus". I don't exactly know what was happening in that sentence. You definitely did the write thing with the paragraphs when there is dialogue. There should always be a new paragraph for dialogue, but you seemed to make every sentence a new paragraph, which makes this writing seem a tad bit off. I feel like this story needs some more details in it to truly get a good strong story out of it.

Hope this helps, and wasn't too harsh sounding. Happy writing!!

This is helpful thank you tons.



You can not put the entire Bee Movie in the quote generator.
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