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Scion of the Moon: Chapter 2: The Pilgrimage

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Scion of the Moon

Chapter 2

The Pilgrimage

The road winding down Foss mountain was carved into the cliff itself, effectively a crevice with dual mounds of solid stone enclosing it. The walls of dirt and rock would vanish on occasion when the narrow path opened up into flat tiers. This would give Tun and Mel a clear view of the smaller mountains and peaks that surrounded Foss, but these brief respites from claustrophobia were short-lived, always transforming back to the enclosed path.

The path became steep at times, made all the more treacherous by the patches of ice that littered the ground. The trip would have been physically demanding even without careful footwork, but as things were the hike was downright exhausting. Many other people made this trip every day, several of whom had passed them on their way up, and if elderly couples and children alike could make the journey uphill then they could most certainly manage it downhill. Besides, they had made the uphill journey before, though on the back of a traders wagon.

Fortunately the wind was calm, the sun was shining and they didn't have to contend with the deadly cold as with months past. Mel had long since removed her coat, tying it around her waist into a half skirt that looked oddly effeminate on her, which is why he refrained from doing the same. He wasn't sweating too profusely by the time they reached the bottom of Foss where the trail forked off in two directions, north and south. A rest stop stood next to the crossroad, consisting of a thatched booth that served as a shelter for unwary travelers and a water trough next to which stood a pump for drawing life-giving liquid from subterranean wells. This particular shelter had housed Mel and him just four days earlier as they prepared to ascend the intimidating mountain, now it served as a rendezvous around which a dozen wayward travelers rested.

Tun and Mel approached their fellow journeymen with a friendly greeting. There were two families, each including a mother, a father and a child or two, an elderly couple and three fur traders whose wagon buckled under the weight of animal pelts, both saurian and mammalian. Somebody had already drawn water from the pump next to the shelter into the trough. Tun dipped a finger into the water and was surprised to find it lukewarm. He removed his jacket, stuffing it to the bottom of his pack, and dipped his hands into the water, intent on washing himself.

"Here." Said one of the fur traders as he reached into the trough. "Let me get that for you." He dipped his entire hand into the clear liquid, beckoning Tun to remove his own. He did so. A moment later the water's surface bubbled as steam poured out of the bin. The trader removed his hand, the water now scalding hot and at a near boil. The trader was a fire caster. "There you go." The bulky, sand haired man said before retreating to his wagon and the piled of pelts.

Tun thanked him and dipped a finger into the bin. It was far too hot, not necessarily hot enough to burn him, but he would have preferred the lukewarm water from before. He kept this sentiment to himself lest he insult the man capable of shooting fire out of his fingertips. Tun washed up quickly, dipping his hands in and out of the scalding water with quick strikes, scrubbing his arms and neck with what little liquid stuck to his hands.

Mel, for her part, laughed at his attempts at improvisation and decided to show off her water moving skills. She flicked her hands at the bin and lifted the water high into the air, her fingers outstretched towards the blob of searing liquid. She rotated the airborne water, twisting it, flattening it , expanding its surface area to let it cool down faster in the cold air. She dropped the water back into the container and let it rest. Tun tested the temperature with the same finger, and found it was perfect.

The two finished bathing their less reserved body parts, but Mel went a step further by moving a sheet of water up her arms and under her clothes, cleaning away the dirt and sweat that had accumulated on her skin over the past days without exposing herself indecently, before tossing the seidr infused liquid, now tinged yellow with dead skin, into a dirt patch. She offered to perform the same ritual on Tun but he refused.

It was high noon by now and Tun was undeniably hungry, but he wanted to reach the next rest stop before sundown. They ate a quick meal of mixed nuts and dried apricots and got up to leave, walking north towards Riplay. They said farewell to the elderly couple, the two families, and the fur traders in turn.

The sun was setting now, the snow-covered peaks and valleys shone a myriad of yellows, oranges and pinks to reflect the sky above.

The pair had expected to cross the ten kilometers distance between rest stops by evening, and Tun's mental measuring stick told him they had, but no wooden shack was to be seen. It had been a tiring day and he was tempted to set their tent up here and sleep in the wilderness, which he wasn't exactly averse to doing but he refused to be beaten by the trail.

"Tun?" Mel called from behind him. "Can we please stop for the night?" She pleaded. He turned to motivate her. She looked as exhausted as he felt, her hair and clothes more ruffled than her usual boyish style of dress. The sight of her slouched and defeated form was enough to break down his last vestiges of resistance and he conceded to her demands. The clearing on either side of the path they was lacking in shelter, holding only the cold remains of once healthy bushes and grasses and piles of crushed snow. Tun spotted a small collection of fir's just in the distance and beside the road.

"We'll rest there for the night." Tun said, pointing at the frosted trees. She and Tun trudged the remaining distance with slightly more enthusiasm than they had the previous few kilometers, finally plopping their bags down beside the thick trunks and ducked underneath the branches to set up for the night. Tun took out his shovel and dug through the snow, clearing an area of solid ground to lay their cots. With that done all that was left to do was drive the four rods into the ground, an easy task for an earth mover like himself, and throw the leather tarp overhead.

Mel had gone about making a fire with flint stones and the dried remains of nearby plants and trees. She was heating ice to boil some of the dried meats and roots they had for a stew. Tun left her to the task and walked back out to the road, sitting down on a lopsided boulder to enjoy the scenery. It was cooler out now, even with the setting sun bleeding from the east. He donned his jacket, having made the ten kilometer trip in just his tunic and leggings.

From where he sat Tun could see the endless fields between a gap in the mountains. An ocean of yellow and white stretched all the way to the eastern mountains, and if he could see past the mountains to his right he was sure the ocean of white and yellow would stretch far into the horizon, further than the eye can see. The eastern mountains that comprised the Scurfan Crown cast long shadows over the flat-lands, pale in comparison to the black spire in the south that towered over all other things. Scij mountain itself, tallest and broadest in the world, stood to the north and dominate the other half of the skyline where the two mountain ranges met to form a V. There was precious little sunlight left but he made the best of it, ignoring the southern winds that chose this, of all moments, to return.

He turned to the south past the Foss mountain (third largest in the range) to see a storm-head creeping towards them, just behind the pillar of creation that split the southern skyline as thoroughly as Scij did the north. He knew that the dark grey clouds brought with them a world of discomfort that they would have to bear, come morning. For now he admired its deadly beauty behind the ever-present black spear.

Mel called him over to the fire where their stew was ready. He ate a disproportionate amount of it compared to Mel, but she was a light eater and never seemed to mind his voracious appetite. They went to bed, in separate cots of course, just as night descended on the land.

They woke up to a typhoon of snow and sleet. Tun stuck his head out of the tent and was nearly blown away by the sheer force of the winds. "We have to pack up." He yelled back to his fiance. She jumped into action as quickly as he did, donning her boots and jacket, and cleverly enough stuffing her cot into her tunic for added warmth. Tun imitated her and the two tore down the tent in record time, shoving the leather tarp and metal poles unceremoniously into their respective compartments and ducking down underneath the tree branches.

They were nearly swept away by the hurricane of ice. Tun threw out a hand towards the general direction of the wind and tried to push it back. He had no propensity for air moving but he could stop hail, snow and water from hitting them in the same way as he could earth. He managed to keep up this barrier for just seconds before winds direction changed, he redirected his seidr to counteract the new torrent of sleet. They went on like this for several minutes, Tun turning around every few momenta to maintain his barrier against the more dangerous flying objects. Mel did her best to create a similar barrier against the rain with her water moving abilities, but was not strong enough to hold it all at bay. There was nothing they could do about the wind, but they pressed on through it, further north along the path.

Ten minutes later they spotted a fork in the road next to which sat the much welcomed sight of the wooden shack of a rest stop. They dropped their barriers against the elements and sprinted to the shelter, ignoring heaven's punishment. The arrived at the static shelter and wrenched the door open, diving inside and slamming the door shut behind them. Huffing and panting, they lay there on the hay covered floor, even indoors it was still rather cold. Tun regained his breath first and removed his soaked through jacket, hanging it from the rafters above them.

His cot plummeted to the floor, still dry compared to his jacket. He flattened the fabric against the ground while Mel hung up her own jacket, before lining her bed-roll up with his own. Tun couldn't tell what time it was, but he knew tomorrow was further away than yesterday.

The shack, like those at all rest stops, was small and cramped, barely large enough for two teenagers to lay side by side, but Tun didn't mind. Aside from the times they camped in the tent they only ever slept side by side in these ramshackle shelters. They were so close in that cramped space that he could wrap his arm around her and breath in her smell, he couldn't do that when they rented rooms at inns with separate beds, as was expected of them. He knew their parents wouldn't be happy to see them in such an indecent sleeping arrangement with their wedding still months away, but their parents weren't here now.

With the roaring winds and pounding of hail as their lullaby, Tun and Mel slowly drifted to sleep.

Comments & reviews · 2
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User avatar
Tealessence
Review

Overall: awesome again. Your descriptive language is great; I really enjoy reading your writing style. Great similes and metaphors... what else can I say? Aside from a few typos or grammatical errors (I forget which), it was wonderful. I especially liked how you introduced your world's magic. Once again, showing, not telling. I'm really glad you introduced something new this chapter because otherwise the reading, as lovely as the prose is, would have become tiresome, as nothing in the plot has really happened yet.

I still look forward to more revelation of characters Tun and Mel... and I'm also eager to read about other characters you will introduce.

Keep writing. : )

User avatar
Dracula
Review

Hello! I'll just write my thoughts and any errors I find as I read. So sorry if I pick on something that would make sense if I read further. And by the way, Happy September Review day!!!

The walls of dirt and rock would vanish on occasion when the narrow path opened up into flat tiers.

This doesn't sound quite right. It could become: on the occasion when, would vanish occasionally when.

and if elderly couples and children alike could make the journey uphill then they could most certainly manage it downhill. Besides, they had made the uphill journey before,

I really like your description of the hill, I can clearly imagine the scene taking place. You've just used hill a bit too often, it sounds too repetitive.

Your paragraphs are amazing! As I said before, the descriptions are great. You've also used big words, but not such big ones that the book is limited to more advanced readers.

Ah... it's an Avatar sort of story, hey? I like that! Let me know when you write any future chapters. :)

The sun was setting now, the snow-covered peaks and valleys shone a myriad of yellows, oranges and pinks to reflect the sky above.

This isn't really a nitpick, I just noticed that it's quite small compared to your other paragraphs. Could you describe the sky more? Maybe say how it made your characters feel.

They woke up to a typhoon of snow and sleet. Tun stuck his head out of the tent and was nearly blown away by the sheer force of the winds. "We have to pack up." He yelled back to his fiance. She jumped into action as quickly as he did, donning her boots and jacket, and cleverly enough stuffing her cot into her tunic for added warmth. Tun imitated her and the two tore down the tent in record time, shoving the leather tarp and metal poles unceremoniously into their respective compartments and ducking down underneath the tree branches.

In this paragraph, describe the typhoon a bit more before they get up. Then I'll know why it's so important that they leave.

Is the wooden shack shaking? From the strength of the storm, the reader would expect that it does shake, so I suggest you mention that.

I really like your story! I normally struggle to read large chapters on a screen, but this was great! Well done and keep writing.



This is a house of homes, a sacred place, by human passion made divinely sweet.
— Alfred Joyce Kilmer