z

Young Writers Society


18+ Language Mature Content

Chapter one - Is this the beginning?

by Beauty36


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and mature content.

One long day at Winterfall everything seemed as quiet as what everyone had expected on it to be which is as equally as strange as everyone would've been expecting it all to be.

But that was until things changed around in the world. Like stuff being burnt to the ground people trying to survive in their home towns cities and villages but also others trying to get some pieces of food and drinks without dying.

Things weren't the way they were as usual they all turned out to have gone BAD. Like starting with all the fires spreading to each individual town or city in the place of Winterfall it got even way worse when those people arrived at the place.

Which is an unusual thing of them all to see as such it wasn't anything like they've ever seen on this world around their towns villages and even their cities.

People normally wouldn't do such things to burn people's places and houses down just cause of the silliest of things and causes.

Though things did get a bit worse than it was supposed to be getting worse and supposed to be expected which was hard to explain.

The main character was standing next to her friends looking at how the world was burning up in terror and fear.

Yes, this is the story of Reader Awe Dancing Moon and her friends Katara Sokka Aang Appa Momo Toph by her side and of how she met her lover prince Zuko.

People were and still are very much terrified of you. Knowing that you'll be marrying the prince in the nearby future having Mai be jealous of how you loved and still love Zuko.

You won't allow that to happen. Of having the princess from the fire nation to marry prince Zuko that will be the last for you to see happening.

Your friends could tell something was wrong as you watched at how the earth kingdom was still busy burning down in flames of fire.

"I-I'm sorry!"

You heard Aang say to you. As you turned your body away from him and passed by Katara telling her something in whispered voices.

Which had Aang and Sokka a bit worried.

They weren't allowed to know about this concerned thing which is about you going on your own mission.

You will go see your lover the prince of the fire nation known as prince Zuko you want to go see him without the others trying to follow behind you.

Though you want none of them to follow you behind you being a princess and all that stuff.


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Fri Mar 15, 2024 2:00 am
KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Hmm well this was quite an interesting piece here. Certainly an interesting take there. There's definitely quite the plot within what we've got right here. It needs some fleshing out but its a pretty cool start here.

Anyway let's get right to it,

One long day at Winterfall everything seemed as quiet as what everyone had expected on it to be which is as equally as strange as everyone would've been expecting it all to be.

But that was until things changed around in the world. Like stuff being burnt to the ground people trying to survive in their home towns cities and villages but also others trying to get some pieces of food and drinks without dying.

Things weren't the way they were as usual they all turned out to have gone BAD. Like starting with all the fires spreading to each individual town or city in the place of Winterfall it got even way worse when those people arrived at the place.


Hmm well quite the chaotic start right here. Looks like the entire world is in some state of turmoil there. Things definitely seem like they're in the midst of some sort of chao like a war of some sort. It certainly pulls you in quite quickly here. Loving this start so far.

Which is an unusual thing of them all to see as such it wasn't anything like they've ever seen on this world around their towns villages and even their cities.

People normally wouldn't do such things to burn people's places and houses down just cause of the silliest of things and causes.

Though things did get a bit worse than it was supposed to be getting worse and supposed to be expected which was hard to explain.

The main character was standing next to her friends looking at how the world was burning up in terror and fear.


Hmm this is quite an interesting little segment. It seems we're dealing with a bit of a narrator here going through the events of the world and we're just about to be slowly introduced to the characters. Definitely makes for an interesting start here.

Yes, this is the story of Reader Awe Dancing Moon and her friends Katara Sokka Aang Appa Momo Toph by her side and of how she met her lover prince Zuko.

People were and still are very much terrified of you. Knowing that you'll be marrying the prince in the nearby future having Mai be jealous of how you loved and still love Zuko.

You won't allow that to happen. Of having the princess from the fire nation to marry prince Zuko that will be the last for you to see happening.

Your friends could tell something was wrong as you watched at how the earth kingdom was still busy burning down in flames of fire.


OOooh well I didn't quite see that one coming. Not too often that you tend to run into a story in second person. And this one also seems to be a bit of a fanfic. I'm not very familiar with the fandom but that seems to be quite the little team you've assembled and the chaos they are in the middle of.

"I-I'm sorry!"

You heard Aang say to you. As you turned your body away from him and passed by Katara telling her something in whispered voices.

Which had Aang and Sokka a bit worried.

They weren't allowed to know about this concerned thing which is about you going on your own mission.

You will go see your lover the prince of the fire nation known as prince Zuko you want to go see him without the others trying to follow behind you.

Though you want none of them to follow you behind you being a princess and all that stuff.


Well that's quite the tale there. It turns into a little bit of a summary there so I don't know if maybe the whole piece is meant to be more of a summary for the work rather than the work itself. It is still interesting either way but I do think you need to change it up a bit if its not meant to be a summary.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall quite a fun little story here. I think you've done nicely there. Certainly if its a summary there's quite some good potential here and if its not, you do need to try and make that second part be a bit more fleshed out but this is a good starting point here.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Kate




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The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.
— Patrick Star