I refuse to be weak.
My bones are live wires
Little tendons of mischance
Connect them together
In swirls of quicksand.
The joints they are of iron
Held by my skin into trance.
The curves of my fingers
Out of line with the truth.
Aches in my extremities
Linking me to that world
Of endless endurance
That pushes me till I reach
The point I almost break.
And then I sleep and dream of pain,
To let it begin anew the next day.
And each step is torture
To my weary soul and feet.
Yet I still
Exist.
I exist because pain is just a
Weakness leaving my
Rheumatic body and I shall soon
Be free of all that dare
Make me feel
Helpless.
I refuse to be made weak.
Here's a little addition that might help explain the theme of this poem.
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I liked how you tied the beginning and end of the poem by just slightly rephrasing and repeating the first line. It was a nice contrast.
That said, your punctuation, especially in the second stanza, was inconsistent. It really threw me off. Why do only some sentences end in punctuation while others do not? I see no clear reason, and it only served to confuse me and make me stop in the middle of reading to go back and reread some lines to follow the train of thought. In addition, some of your images, such as joints being held into trance, make no sense to me. A little more expansion of some of the ideas might be a good idea, in addition to more consistent punctuation. Another alternative to punctuation is getting a bit more creative with the formatting, but making the punctuation more consistent would be the easier fix, I think.
Hello! You use description very well in this poem, particularly in the first stanza, and that, linked with the emotion in the other stanzas, makes it pretty powerful. Especially because the emotion you talk about is described in a very subtle way - you only say what needs to be said without laying it on too thick, and that really works because we know what you mean in the few words that you use. It also flows really well, so good job.