Published October 6, 2008
underneath this grinning skull
gleams a three pound voltaic pile
with tendrils buried beyond sight
and all comprehension with the power
to uproot black holes
and capsize points of view
to the extent of non-zero horizons
where parallels exchange handshakes
and men shed their exoskeleton egos
to become one with the something more
that ever rages in silent complacence
casting but shadows on cave walls
perceptual puppet investments
like a speck of dust in the eye of eternity
yet waste not one tear
for our reach exceeds our grasp
infinite as it may be
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140,820 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
Hey, great job. The only thing I can say that hasn't already been mentioned is, punctuation. Eather comas, or periods to divide some things. And even though it has already been stated, I don't understand the "Ten Percent" title. But really, good job!
~M
It has been my firm belief for many years now that the shedding of the ego is something that all people should strive towards. And let's see here, how to explain 'perceptual puppet investments'... It really does become an investment, if, throughout your entire life you are adding weight to this thing that really only exists in your mind. So yes, I don't throw words together lightly, there are mixed meanings throughout the piece that only wholly make sense after taking the whole thing into consideration. Also, Ten Percent is an allusion to the average amount of potential we as humans use with our 'three-pound voltaic piles'. Thank you for your words, even if in the end all words are only mental bastardizations of actual, ever-changing, and gloriously experiential things.
Wow, this is a really thought-provoking piece (I don't know why no one's reviewed this yet!) although I'm not exactly sure why you called it Ten Percent.
This makes it sound like an ego is really a part of someone that they shed, which it's not. I think, however, the comparison between someone's ego and an exoskeleton is clever and quite truthful!
I'm really not getting the meaning of this. I think you're going a bit too far with the metaphors. Investments? This is quite confusing.
All in all, this is a great poem. This might be a bit of a disappointing first review but anyway, fabulous poem! You are a very promising poet!