z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Chubby Wormy

by Barbilo


Once upon a time, in the slimy world of worms and insects, there lived a worm. An unhappy worm. An unhappy white worm. Her name was Chubby Wormy; at least that’s what they told her her mother named her before disappearing from her life.

‘Oh look at that pathetic worm,’ wormy would grumble from time to time all by herself, ‘all that muddy glitter, skinny pink skin with matching sliminess and she thinks she is the worm of the year!’

Of course, wormy had no friends. She did not like any worm or insect that was a size smaller than her. She thought they always looked at her with belittling eyes and she would not let them belittle her. One day she would be prettier than they. Much much prettier. And then, only then could she be the envy of the slimy world.

“Cheer up Chubby, it is a sunny day,” Mr. Caterpillar, her neighbor would tell her from time to time.

But of course, caterpillar just as she, was fat. Why should she listen to anyone fatter than her? What did caterpillar know about beauty? And most of all, she did not consider caterpillar a friend. Caterpillar was not pretty enough to be her friend. What an odd ugly pair they would make, she thought. A green caterpillar hanging up with a white fat worm – no, she wouldn’t be part of that crowd.

“Cater, what do you know about sunny days and beauty? If you don’t have anything to say that can change my appearance, well just go away.”

“Oh dear, but we have talked about this already.”

“And I do not want to talk about it again.”

“Let your inner beauty shine Chubby and you will be happy I swear,” Caterpillar just wouldn’t give up on her.

“Who will care for my inner beauty if they are repulsed at my very presence?” she sulked.

“No one is repulsed by your presence–” but Chubby Wormy had already sank into the mud of her home.

Caterpillar went away feeling distressed. He did not like having a grumpy neighbor. If only Chubby could overlook her outward appearance and see what she was really worth. Maybe then the entire neighborhood could love her.

So troubled he was that his family of sixteen asked what was the matter. He told them his thoughts about Chubby Wormy. They did not care much for Chubby wormy however, Mrs. Caterpillar advised him. She thought that if he was so concerned about the white fat worm, perhaps he could tell her the family secret. The family secret? Mr. Caterpillar was not so sure. But he felt so saddened by Chubby’s unhappiness. He knew what to do.

The next day dawned. Mr. Caterpillar ventured to his neighbors muddy home.

“Chubby, lovely day isn’t it?”

“What do you want?” Wormy was in no mood to speak to a fat green caterpillar. She wished he could be eaten by a bird already but did not say it.

“I… I have something to tell you.”

“You are moving away and taking your family with you? Oh, that’d be great.”

“No, it’s not that. I have a family secret to share with you.”

“Why would I want to know your family secret?”

“Because it can make you beautiful; but only as beautiful as you are on the inside will be shown on the outside.”

“Tell me this secret.”

“No, I can only show you.”

And for the first time, Chubby Wormy thought she liked Caterpillar. Finally, she will be the prettiest worm she had never been and all thanks to him. He had shown her his family secret; how to build a cocoon. Within that cocoon, a magical transformation took place. That transformation could change her from a fat worm to a bouncy beautiful butterfly with yellow wings. She especially liked yellow wings.

“I will keep your family secret Caterpillar only because I don’t want anyone to be as beautiful as me when I become a butterfly.”

“You should keep the secret only because it’s important to my family and not because you want to be selfishly beautiful.”

“Whatever, a secret is a secret.” Chubby Wormy went away feeling pleased. She hadn’t even bothered to thank Mr. Caterpillar.

A terrible thing happened on Chubby’s crawl back home. A large black bird came and swooped her off the path in its beak. It wanted to eat a fat juicy white worm for dinner. Oh dear, fat wormy was in trouble. She pleaded with the hungry bird to let her go. She didn’t want the bird to eat her before she had a chance to become beautiful.

“No, I cannot let you go worm,” the bird said, “I am very hungry.”

“And what if I told you that instead of eating me only for dinner, you could have sixteen or more…”

“What are you saying?” the bird did not want to be tricked. Chubby Wormy was not tricking.

“If you let me go, I will show you the home of seventeen caterpillars – all fat and juicy. You can even call your friends to have a party.”

“Very well, I will only let you go when you show me.”

And Chubby wormy did. She showed the birds to Mr. Caterpillar’s family home and they let him go. She was very pleased with herself because now she would be the only one to know the secret that would transform her to a butterfly. With no one sharing the secret, she would be the most beautiful creature in the entire slimy world.

Days went by, weeks and then months until Chubby had prepared all the ingredients to build a cocoon. Finally ready by the instructions that Caterpillar had given months past, she begun to build a cocoon.When it was complete, she lay in it ready for a transformation and it happened.

After a long while inside the cocoon, the transformation was ready. Chubby emerged from it and she could fly. She felt the wings flutter against the wind. She was ecstatic beyond measure. On her way to show off she nearly bumped into a yellow butterfly with large patterned wings. She admired his beauty and imagined that she looked just as great.

“Hello beautiful butterfly,” Chubby was ready to make friends.

However, she saw a stream of butterflies flying with him. They were seventeen in all and she realized, with shock that indeed it was the Caterpillar family, now butterflies. She felt a bit of guilt but hid it when she realized, Mr. Caterpillar, now beautiful butterfly had recognized her.

“Chubby Wormy, you are still chubby but with wings,” he greeted.

“What can I say? I am shining inside out. Can I fly with you? You are a beautiful family.”

“Yes we are but no, you cannot fly with us. Goodbye Chubby,” and they quickly flew past her. She wondered if they knew she had been the one who had betrayed them to a pack of hungry birds in the months past. She figured they knew.

“Oh well,” she said to herself and went her way. She would have no trouble making friends when they saw how beautiful she was. Perhaps Caterpillar had been jealous so that was why he hadn’t let her fly with them.

When Chubby made a stop to have some water to drink and perhaps have a look into her reflection, she had the shock of her life. The reflection she saw was shocking; murky, unflattering and big. She could not believe it and so flew to a window in order to see clearly but alas it was true.

Chubby Wormy had become a big fat brown moth. Before she could think clearly, a black bird swooped her away and had her for dinner before she could say a word.

It was a sad tale Mr. Caterpillar always taught his children so that they could not only focus on the good the world sees but also develop the good within them – being loyal to love, truth and of course loyalty itself in order for them to accept themselves as they are.

“So how did you escape from the bad birds grandpa?” small caterpillar asked. They, 28 grandchildren in all sat around their aging grandfather, intently listening to what he had to say.

“We didn’t escape the birds. But because I was wise, I asked the birds to spare my life and those of my children.”

“And they agreed?”

“Yes, because I showed a nice grain farm nearby that could feed them for years. They let me and your parents go because we thought of a solution. The birds were not bad, they were just hungry.”

“I want to be like you Cater grandpa when I grow up.”

“Oh, you are, you already are,” he smiled happy.

the End.

You can also read it on my short story website. Thanks.


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193 Reviews


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Sun Feb 22, 2015 2:58 pm
Niraco wrote a review...



Hello there, Barbilo! Niraco here on this awesome review day - hope your having fun.

Moving on, it was the title of this work which drew to me first ‘Chubby Wormy’ is such a strange title I couldn’t help but see if the short story was as strange as the title suggested. If I was one hundred percent honest I would say that I was slightly disappointed mostly at the start.

Of course, wormy had no friends. She did not like any worm or insect that was a size smaller than her. She thought they always looked at her with belittling eyes and she would not let them belittle her. One day she would be prettier than they. Much much prettier. And then, only then could she be the envy of the slimy world.


While reading this paragraph I felt that it was rather clichéd and that I had seen it tonnes of times before in fables like this. When I read that this was put under ‘satire’ I was hoping for something less focused on looks, which is what so many fables tend to look towards. However, the emotions our little wormy feels are things which is very relatable. Many people reading won’t feel the same as I do.

But of course, caterpillar just as she, was fat. Why should she listen to anyone fatter than her? What did caterpillar know about beauty?


Now this I kind of liked. We see some more of Wormy’s personality and that she tends to look down on those worse off than her - even though they’re only being nice. It gives her a real sense of character which I absolutely loved. She isn’t overly nice or humble which creates some real depth towards her character. Awesome, awesome job with just those rhetorical questions too. It really makes readers stop and think more about what is going through Wormy’s mind.

I also like the message going through this short story. Now ‘inner beauty’ subject has been done many times before (as I said) but never with a worm I think. I think that in this line:

”Who will care for my inner beauty if they are repulsed at my very persence?” she sulked.


We can see Wormy’s mind set and how much she finds herself disgusting. It’s a sad thought which most girls - at one point - tend to think, some more than others. It’s a nice piece of social commentary too.

I also found this to be rather humrous, from the start I thought this would be very sombre and that I wouldn’t laugh a lot but this line:

”You are moving awau and taking your family with you? Oh, that‘d be great.”


Just cracked me up. Once again we also see some of Wormy’s personality, she’s snaky and doesn’t really censor herself when it comes to people she doesn’t really like.

”You should keep the secret only because it‘s important to my family and not because you want to be selfishly beautiful.”


Another nice piece of social commentary. I really like the character Mr. Caterpillar. He’s sensible yet caring.

Now before this line:

”If you let me go, I will show you the home of seventeen caterpillars - all fat and juicy. You can even call your friends to have a party.”


I thought I knew where this story was going. However the introduction of the bird really put a very intriguing twist. It also gives Wormy more character too, she really is selfish and pretty unlikeable. Now this doesn’t mean she is a bad character in fact the total opposite.

The ending was great and I actually didn’t see it coming. This makes for a nice little cautionary tale which I think - perhaps young children - could really benefit from. ‘Don’t be selfish’. At first I thought this was merely going to be a tale of inner beauty and I do apologise for my previous judgment. Not being selfish as also been done before but this added a nice twist to it and by the end I was in love with short story. Well done!




Barbilo says...


Happy review day Niraco. Thank you for the detailed review and I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Children's stories are not my usual genre but this was something I was inspired to write. :)



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Sun Feb 22, 2015 5:58 am
Purnima wrote a review...



Hello hello!

This was a really interesting story. It's the kind I would expect to find in a children's book with a moral at the end. I could also find some intriguing parallels between the concept of beauty and the ideas associated with it in today's world.

The second I read about Chubby's preoccupation with her beauty, I thought that it was remarkably similar to the amount of importance given to outward appearance by the girls of today. With the amount of emphasis given to it in social media, and all the bullying and teasing that comes from the same during childhood, this felt like a clear portrayal of someone who had very low self esteem and was on the verge of a breakdown.

She wished he could be eaten by a bird already but did not say it.

I really like how there's a hint of being suicidal here. I know how this is a thought that occurs to many young girls these days because they don't think they look pretty enough to cope with the pressure's in today's world.

She thought they always looked at her with belittling eyes and she would not let them belittle her.

It's interesting to see how one's own perception can be transferred onto how others might be thinking.

I like how Mr. Caterpillar has such a good heart. But obviously, Chubby didn't realize the actual intent and meaning behind his secret. It's interesting to see how such an obsession with beauty can make someone malicious and so self-obsessed that they are blind to the other qualities out there.

The ending was brilliant. I love how you've made a distinction between "bad bird" and "hungry bird." I really think you've brought up some great themes and ideas into this short story and written them in such a simple but effective manner.

I did notice a few grammatical errors which I thought I'd point out.

First of all, Chubby Wormy is the worm's name but you haven't capitalized it in a majority of places throughout the story.

There are also a lot of commas missing in various places. Here are a few instances for which I've put the missing comma within the parentheses.

“Cheer up(,) Chubby, it is a sunny day,”

"Let your inner beauty shine(,) Chubby(,) and you will be happy, I swear"

"I will keep your family secret(,) Caterpillar(,) only because..."

“Hello(,) beautiful butterfly,”

I think you get the gist by now. :)

An apostrophe missing here: neighbor's home

They're just some simple errors which would make this flow even smoother if cleaned up. Overall, I loved this. It was such an amazing idea and you've done a great job at writing it!




Barbilo says...


Thank you Purnima for the review. :) Yes, you are right. I need to clean some punctuation. Glad you like the story. I normally don't write fables but gave this one a try. I will work to make it better.



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Thu Feb 19, 2015 2:41 pm
chaima93 says...



I really enjoyed this story!! I even chuckled to myself a few times.




Barbilo says...


Thank you Chaima93. Glad you enjoyed it. ^_^




Remember the rain that made your corn grow.
— Haitian Proverb