The Mask
Clear, translucent skin
Cemented and opaque
Lush, beautiful lips
Stifled and stitched
Large, glowing eyes
Overwhelmed and shut
Smooth, untainted cheek
Stretched and barred
Shapely, arched brows
Weak and crushed
Strong, proud jaw
Submissive and broken
Thin, graceful neck
Cut and bloodless
Brooke M. Amick
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I thought it was too empty. Devoid of any images you can grasp onto and understand...it was too floaty and undefined for my liking. There were no dramatic lines, no punch, no effect, nothing. It just felt like words typed on a page - and we all know poetry is a lot more than that.
I think this poem was a lovely read, but very short. You might need to go over it a little and change the words a bit. Yep, I've never seen crushed eyebrows either.
But I also noticed that there is two poems in one, I read the first line only of every stanza, and it gave me I pictured a beautiful mask, while reading the second stanza made me a bit confused...
Overall, I would give it a 6/10.
Good work...
wordy, un-interesting idea,
lifelessly portrayed.
tedious, boring process,
review others' work.
I liked the contrasts and the way this was worded, but I guess I expected a little something more to wrap it up and make it a comparison somehow.
When I first read this, I didn't get what you were saying on the second line of each stanza (the opposite to the first line). Nice poem, but some of the description is a bit odd. I've never seen 'crushed' eyebrows....!?!?
Interesting though, with a cold, heartless emotion in it