Hey Guys,
This is a poem that I wrote a little while ago. It is an interpretation of one of my favourite songs. To understand the poem I will include the original song in a spoiler.
Enjoy
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Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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Terrific!
I would change just two things, at the beginning you have "Ok here is my poem" in bold. I would edit it and make it to where you have some white space in between that statement and the poem.
And right here,
I don't think the T or K need to be capitalized.
But, overall, great poem. It flowed wonderfully, nice ending and I was captured from the beginning!
Nice work. This was a very gripping poem, and flowed really well from beginning to end. It left me with quite a sorrowful feeling. It makes sense even without the original song.
If I had to mention something, the second verse threw me off a bit. You where talking about the eyes, and then the 'deepest blue imaginable', but then you say not a 'breath of wind to swirl the delicate surface,' which I assume is refering to water. At first I thought the deepest blue was refering to the eyes, which made me have to read back and work it out.
Either way, overall I loved it. Keep it up.