**Inappropriate scenes! Proceed with caution!**
Prologue
Take the pain away
Interview number one between patient 0985 and Dr. Stone.
Dr. Stone: Welcome, Ryner. Did you enjoy your lunch? Please, have a seat.
0985: Yes, Mr. Stone. Thank you.
Dr. Stone: Are you comfortable? Would you like anything to drink before we begin?
0985: No thank you.
Dr. Stone: From what I read on your file, you’ve been to many therapists.
0985: I have.
Dr. Stone: Your disorder is nothing to be ashamed of. People get mad all the time. Maybe it would help if you admit your faults.
0985: I’ve done some terrible things because of my anger.
Dr. Stone: What kind of things, Ryner? We cannot move on until you admit at least one bad thing you did.
0985: I snuck out of school and killed a rabbit.
Dr. Stone: How?
0985: I drowned it in gasoline. Then I set it on fire.
Dr. Stone: Okay. What happened when you came back to this school?
0985: You called me in for punishment. You gave me something to drink, and that’s all I remember. When I woke up I was in my room. What was in the drink, Doctor?
Dr. Stone: I told you not to worry about it, Ryner. Let us continue. Lay down on that table over there. Good. Now I’m going to show you a pendulum. Keep your eye on it, if you will.
[Long pause]
Dr. Stone: Okay. It is 1979. What do you remember from this year, Ryner?
0985: I was thirteen that year. Mom made me a small cupcake for my birthday.
Dr. Stone: Where is your father?
0985: He was never home.
Dr. Stone: What happened when he was at home?
0985: He hit my mom. Mom would lock me in the closet and gave me a pillow so I wouldn’t see or hear what was going on. I never used the pillow. Then one day she stopped screaming, and I heard the door slam.
Dr. Stone: What did you see when you came out of the closet?
0985: My mother was dead on the floor. He killed her.
Dr. Stone: So how do you feel about your father now?
0985: I hate him. I hope he burns.
Dr. Stone: Like the rabbit?
0985: Yes, like the rabbit.
Dr. Stone: Ryner, would you like to forget about everything that happened to you?
0985: I would like to forget.
Dr. Stone: Then just relax. Trust me.
0985: Doctor, why are your hands on me? Is there a purpose for you to touch me there?
Dr. Stone: Drink this, Ryner. It will be over soon.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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With how sparse this is, there isn't much to comment on. I am curious why you chose a more script-like format for the prologue. It has me wondering if the rest of the story a script, or just the prologue.
I am also wondering why this line in particular is even in here:
It implies sexual abuse, but to what end? What is the purpose of having the sexual abuse? Is it really an integral part of the story, the removal of which would completely change the story, or is it just in there for shock value or emphasizing how unhealthy the doctor-patient relationship is for Ryner? If it's any of the latter, it's really unnecessary, and including it smacks of a cheap emotional trick. Cheap tricks are never a good idea to include because then your readers tend to feel cheated later on.
If, however, it was for the former reasons, then I hope you fully explore the consequences of the sexual and psychological abuse, and do so respectfully. All too often, forms of abuse are used as cheap shorthand for "this situation is bad" or to garner quick sympathy for a particular character, which is horribly inconsiderate, disrespectful, and offensive to people who have been victims of abuse.
I truly hope you're not using the abuses portrayed in this prologue cheaply as it would be very upsetting to a lot of people if you did so.