Published December 29, 2010
Everything
first and foremost
was to be for her
if you could just watch
princess of this supposedly impartial kingdom
nearly worshipped
when contrasted
with her forgotten counterpart
I knew you’d understand
praised were all of them
for their effort
so why then
were all of them not treated equally
I still need you there
why was one of them to be
an inferior
in the eyes
of their mistress
to be excluded
you’re just quiet
and ignored
for weeks the one would work
with diligence
equal to that of any other
and yet
at the conclusion
after the curtain closed
that final time
the memory of those eight weeks
recorded for all time
in vibrant ink
and fond words
will remember only her
erasing any likeness
of the understudy
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Canary word: Present
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139,498 Literary Works • 672,588 Reviews
Huh. Well, this is certainly something I've never read about, so that kind of tosses anything cliche out the window. It's very original and interesting to me. Now, as far how the poem is written, it's not immensely impressive. I mean, there's just not a lot of imagery. You seem to be more telling me this instead of letting me see it, experience it for myself. Now, the interjecting, italicized lines seemed a little odd to me. At first I was confused, then I slowly started to get it. There are some places that I really think that those need to be moved, though. They only inhibit from the main thought that the stanza is trying to cast and also clobber the flow.
Great work... Just love it... Especially the lines in italics are just outstanding.... Impressive work mate... Keep up the good work....
I love this lyric poem, is the music to go with it?