Everything first
was to be for her
if you could just watch
princess of this supposedly impartial kingdom
worshiped, nearly
when contrasted
with her forgotten counterpart
i knew you’d understand
praised were all of them
for their effort
so why then
were not all of them treated equally
I still need you there
why was one of them to be
as an inferior
in the eyes
of their mistress
to be excluded
you’re just quiet
and ignored
for weeks that one would work
with diligence
equal to that of any other
yet at the conclusion
the memory of those eight weeks
recorded for all time
in vibrant ink
and fond words
will remember only her
erasing any likeness
of the understudy
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140,588 Literary Works • 673,542 Reviews
Your a poet to! *Gasps!* Anyway, I liked this poem. My only pet peeve was that you didn't capatlize. Also I noticed in the line:
I still need you there
You capatlized but in most of the other lines you didn't. I see how no capatlization can add emotion ( I do it alot to) but capatilization can make in very dramatic. I NEED you there. Also commas would make a little more since of the poem. All in all I really liked it! ( Sorry if I took it apart. HATE when do that!) ( see what i did there!)
The above reviewers are right. This is really good. I don't read alot of poetry, so maybe I'm not the best for this, but I didn't see anything to fix.
Welcome to YWS and I'm sorry if this seems like a pointless review.
Lu
Hey, Azula!
This was a really great piece of poetry. I can't really find anything to criticise, so you're doing very well.
You just joined today, right? Welcome to YWS! It seems we have just gained a very promising new member
Again, I really liked this. Keep writing and never, never stop!
God bless,
Ignis
I love the italics - they really give you a voice. I like that you didn't use punctuation - it adds to the emotion - but I think you should have split it into stanzas; it would have made it a bit easier to read but still conveyed the sadness. Overall, I really like it!