Cheers to my mother
Who raised two girls
And did at least an alright job
Cheers to my sister
Who is bossy but has never held a grudge
Even if she says she can
She’s sweeter than she looks
And softer than me
Cheers to my dad
Who my mom said
Made some very stupid choices
And that’s why he can’t see us anymore
Cheers to my grandma
Who didn’t care about her sons and their wives
And wouldn’t help even at the threat of our lives
Because she doesn’t know how to leave
And she doesn’t know how to forgive
Cheers to my old best friends
Who left when it was convenient
Leaving a hole in my chest
Tearing out pieces of my heart
Even if none of them
Deserved those pieces in the first place
Cheers to my new best friends
Who taped the hole shut
With scotch tape and love.
And didn’t even realize
What they were doing until it was over.
When they did held me until I was okay.
Cheers to my family
To my memories
To my broken and torn life
That has ripped me to shreds
And left me to pick up the pieces
Cheers to all the people who stayed
To my mom and my sister
To my best friends
Cheers
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Hello hello Izzy here for a review!
I love this! This is like an ode to your family (the ones who stayed) and it's beautiful!
This poem was very emotional, and I could tell you were very passionate about this. Maybe use better words to describe what you are trying to say. Overall you did great! I love this and I hope you write more!
Cheers!
Izzy
*sorry for the short review!
Thanks for sharing this very emotionally intense poem. This poem is an excellent example of verbal irony as a literary device. That is to say, saying one thing and often meaning the contrary. This is accomplished by the repetition of the word “cheers” whether the cheers are deserved or not.
http://www.literarydevices.com/irony/
I especially like the statement that your sister looks mean but is actually softer than you are in forgiving others. This seemingly casual self-description provides the reader with the hint that many of these cheers are indeed ironic and not intended as genuine cheers of approval. It’s up to the reader to use common sense to determine which are and which are not. That’s what gives this poem depth.
I won’t suggest changes in reference to punctuation because I consider that an option for the poet to choose or reject. If it had interfered with the poem’s meaning or readability, then I would suggest a different format. But it reads just fine. IMHO.
Suggesstion:
This seems redundant: “....With scotch tape....” That it is tape is already stated. Why it should be identified as “Scotch” isn’t clear. So I would drop that part. The poem stands much better without it since it only serves to distract.