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yet

by AvantCoffee



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39 Reviews


Points: 616
Reviews: 39

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Fri Oct 25, 2019 5:35 am
dahlia58 wrote a review...



I admit, when I saw this poem at first glance, I thought it was a poem on a haunted house. Every stanza of this work feels like the beginning of a story. All of the stanzas feel disconnected from each other, but not in a bad way. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel as if the title is referring to how none of the various situations mentioned in this poem have happened "yet," but are going to eventually, for better or for worse.




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10 Reviews


Points: 575
Reviews: 10

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Sun Oct 20, 2019 4:53 pm
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SuperOriginalName wrote a review...



Wow, @AvantCoffee! What an amazing poem! You are, clearly, very good at poetry. However, there's always room for improvement.

How about we get right into it, shall we?

I am going to start off with a positive thought; the layout. This is probably one of the best poetry layouts I have ever seen. It adds appropriate pauses, and makes the poem overall just look nice.

One thing that I do not understand was what the poem was about. It kind of bounces from topic to topic over and over again. If this can be explained, please do.

Kind of like my previous paragraph, the title and the poem don't really go together. Maybe it's just because I did not understand the poem. To be honest, I'm not sure.

This is just a question, but is the title ment to go with the description? Is it ment to be together, like "yet a more minimal poem"? Also, I noticed that neither the title or the description have any capital letters.

Overall a great poem. I hope I wasn't too harsh or nitpicky about it. I can't wait to see more of your literary work in the future and, as always, keep writing!

~@SuperOriginalName




AvantCoffee says...


These are really good questions! The topic or theme that is intended to tie the poem together is the far distance in which all the aspects (or scenes) of the poem are viewed from by the reader, and the removedness of being so far back that the connections and details are unknown in a way similar to how we often can't know most things in today's world, and so we interpret the snippets we can. I planned for each aspect/scene to be something hinting at that not-knowing (the faraway, the shelf out of reach etc.). It is meant to be slow and reflective with space for interpretation %u2013 and hopefully the pacing and format helped with that heh. At least this is what my intention was for this poem, however if you see anywhere I could have communicated this meaning better I'd be happy to hear c:

I appreciate you bringing up the title. The connection of 'yet' to the poem was intended to indicate the knowledge that is yet to come to us, to fill the spaces overtime. If you have other suggestions that might work better I'm welcoming of them!

As for non-capitalisation of the title, I made that choice since the word 'yet' doesn't feel like a word usually at the start of a sentence, and thought that emphasised the (here's an interesting term for you) medias res (basically 'in the middle of' events already partway through happening) sort of placement of the poem~

Well this was a slightly long set of answers. Thank you for reviewing the poem! c: If you can see any possible improvements that might be made to it considering all this feel free to reply, but otherwise you've given me things to think about! ^^




cron
That, sir, is the most frightening battlefield in the world: the blank page.
— Larry McMurtry, Comanche Moon