I sometimes don't like how I look. I can go up my body from head to toe picking out things I don't like. I don't like my toes, they're too fat, my legs are too skinny, my thighs are awkward, my stomach has a weird shape, my arms are small, my shoulders are big, I have horrible skin, my hair is too short, my ears don't have as many piercings as I want them to, my nose is big, I have extra skin under my chin. But you know what, I can draw pretty smiley faces on my toes, my legs look good in tights, my knees can turn abnormally cool, my stomach is thin, my arms still work, my shoulders are strong, I can do a really nice double chin that makes all my friends laugh and smile, my acne will go away, and my hair will grow. I can see all these things that is wrong with me, but nobody else notices. Plus I know that something I may hate, somebody else really loves. For example, my best friend loves my nose, but I hate it. So if you ever feel insecure about anything just know somebody else loves whatever it is. There is a lot of people in this world, so don't ever tell yourself "but nobody will ever love how I look or how I am" Who knows theres so many people you haven't met, and whoever they might be, they will love who you are and how you look.
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140,292 Literary Works • 673,076 Reviews
Hello Ava!
Wow, this was amazing. Really. I wish I could post this on all of the social media sites in the world, and encourage other people, especially teens, that they're fine just the way they are. I love how you ended with encouraging words! It's a great piece, and a real source of encouragement.
You may want to try putting in a few paragraphs here or there (really minor thing and is really a matter of opinion, but it will make it a bit easier to read), but other than that, as I said, a terrific piece!
Keep on!
-Jaye
Thanks!!
Hi Ava, it's Gymnast2801 here with a review!
Oh wow, I really love this. Starting off, I thought it was going to be about how you where depressed you where about the little nitpicks of your body. But I really love how you turn that around and end on a confident, positive note!
I found only 2 things to correct you on so here it goes...
'I can see al these things that is wrong with me,'
'al' should be changed to 'all' but I think this was a simple slip of the finger.
'For example, my best friend loves my nose, she loves it, '
You should change the comma to a period after 'nose'.
Otherwise, I don't think I found anything else. Your word choice is good, and I think you write this well. Again, I really LOVE how you end on a positive note. Just about every teen goes through a long faze where they think they are fat when they aren't, or have something wrong with them when they don't have anything wrong at all. I love how this sends out a positive note and says that although you think your note pretty, someone else does.
Great job, and please keep one writing!
~Gymnast2801.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate it!