Defective Chapter One: White rooms and Human souls

Natiel

You’re an idiot for trying to break into the Institute, Natiel. Really, what did you think would happen? That they’d let an Omega like you walk in, take some meds and walk back out scot free? They tell you often enough: think before acting! I tapped myself on the head, hard, with the heel of my hand. Sitting on the floor of the pitch black room that they had thrown me into certainly helped with thinking. I couldn’t see anything. I wasn’t sure how big the room was; only that it had a floor and a door. I calmed my breathing slightly and thought. What did I know about the Institute? They do modifications on Alphas. So they have to develop the mods. And test them. Testing. Oh God. The Experiments. Was I going to become an Experiment? Technically, they weren’t allowed to, but no one cared about what happened to Omegas. The Experiments wouldn’t exist if they did. I could feel my hands starting to shake. How was becoming an Experiment going to help Isa?

The door swung open, the sudden light blinding me, leaving black splotches across my vision. I was hauled to my feet, the metal bands around my wrists clipped together, a cloth gag forced into my mouth. Shit. I struggled against the hands that held me, but I couldn’t get free. Shit, shit, shit. I don’t want to be an experiment. Experiments didn’t live long. Experiments had to obey. Experiments killed Omegas. I didn’t want to- couldn’t – do that.
I kicked out violently, trying to get free, but I was only lifted off of the ground. There were two of them, one of them holding me, one of them leading the way. There wasn't really any need for the second one when dealing with a Omega like me. They were lumps of muscle, people who had been modified or born that way. Betas. A scrawny Omega like me couldn't do a thing against the liked of them. I fell limp in the Beta's arm and waited for my death to arrive as a blur of colours marched past.
"Where are we taking this guy, anyway?" the Beta holding me asked. My ears pricked up. Maybe I could escape from wherever they were taking me. Maybe I wouldn't die.
"The White rooms." I felt the shock register in the arms around me.
"The White rooms? With that psycho?" Psycho? What's going to happen to me?"That's what Resh said. Gotta say, I feel sorry for the poor bastard." I don't want to die. My hands were shaking where they were held in front of my face and I closed my eyes. I’m so pitiful. I was scared, more so than I had ever been in my whole life. I could feel my heart racing in my chest.

I didn’t have time to struggling again as I heard the silent hiss of a door sliding open. I was marched into a white room and sat in front of a desk. My eyes snapped open and travelled from the edge of the desk, over a holo-comp, estimating its price as I went, then up an arm to a face. A man with blonde hair and blue eyes stared at me from across the table, evaluating me as I watched him cautiously.
“This is the one, Resh,” the Beta who had been leading stated. I swallowed, trying to control my shaking. I wasn’t a hero, I wasn’t a leader, I was just a normal person, and I was scared out of my mind.
“I can see that. Honestly, why are all the Betas such muscle-heads?” His tone was scathing, but strangely genderless. I squirmed in the chair, my heart banging against my chest. I could feel bile rise in my throat and swallowed again. The man fixed his gaze on me again and smiled slightly.
“Natiel Scott, third sector, second level, yes?” I nodded. They’d read the information from my bio-chip as soon as they had captured me. “I’d be interested to know exactly why a lowly Omega like you decided that he could waltz in and steal meds, but that’s not the point right now. Most Omegas trying to get in here would have been shot on sight. However, we need someone to help us. And that’s you.” I’m going to help them? Why would they want the help of an Omega?
“Resh, E201 is ready for development.” A voice emanated from the holo-comp.
“I’ll be there right away.” His piercing stare flicked back to me again and I shrank back in the chair. “All you have to do is stay still and quiet. Even an Omega can do that.” He stood up and strode through the door that opened behind him. I was hauled from the chair and marched through after him. My heart hammered against my ribs. All I wanted to do was help Isa. I don’t want her to die. Why does it have to be me? Why us? Why the Omegas? Why are we Omegas? I started to struggle in the Beta’s arms again, but it was no use.

We arrived in a small, pitch-black room. Two people in lab coats sat behind holo-screens that lit up the darkness. I tried to look past their shoulders to see what was on the screens, but only caught a glimpse of a splash of red on white, burning like flames. What is that?
“How is E201 today?” the man called Resh asked, sitting down at a third chair that hovered just above the ground.
“As always, Resh. It didn’t sleep well, and it doesn’t seem to be at top form. However, it’s performing well.”
“Good. Well then.” He turned to me, a concentrated stare fixed on me. “This is where you come in.” Another door opened, showing a narrow white corridor, lit from everywhere. It was as if the walls themselves shone. “You go down there, through the door, then stand there and wait.” He spoke slowly as if talking to a small child. I was used to it. That was how Alphas spoke to Omegas. “You don’t move, don’t make a sound, whatever happens.” I can’t speak anyway. “Now go on.” He nodded at the Beta, who set me down on the ground. I sighed slightly, then tensed again as he shooed me towards the corridor.
I stared at him for a second with wide eyes, the resigned myself to my fate and stepped into the corridor. With every step I took under the shining walls, my trembling became worse. By the time I reached the end of the corridor, the world was swirling. As the wall slid open in front of me, my blood roared in my ears. I’m going to be sick. What’s going to happen? I stepped into the room and took as deep a breath as possible as the door shuts behind me. The world stopped swirling and I focused on the only spot of colour in the room. Firey red hair. The fire from the holo-screens. I followed the hair down, to a face then a body.

It was a girl, almost pale enough to blend into the room. Her eyes were scrunched shut, her hair curled around her ears in a blazing halo. I spread my gaze to the rest of the room and my eyes widened again. Small piles of ash littered the room. What is that? What did that? My gaze returned to the girl. Was it her? It didn’t seem possible. She looked younger than me, weaker, frailer. I caught a glimpse of black under her hair and focused on that. Σ201… She’s an experiment. My heart sped up in my chest again; a cold sweat trickled down my neck. I had never been so close to an experiment. I couldn’t breathe, but my breath was coming in shorts rapid gasps around the gag. I couldn’t think, but my thoughts were racing.
"What's wrong?" The sudden sound made me jump. It was the voice of the Alpha from before. "Use your power." The girl’s eyes tightened. Please. Don’t. I don’t want to die.
"I can't.” I barely heard the girl’s voice. She seemed terrified. You’re an Experiment… but you're scared?
"You can't?"The voice emanating from the ceiling sounded angry, but I wasn’t sure that it was genuine. It seemed to scare the girl though. She squeaked and hugged her legs to her body, her movement making me tense. She shook her head and I knew that the man, Resh, saw it. I wondered what his reaction was.
"I can't. It's a human." What is she used to? I watched her carefully. She was trembling, and reminded me of Isa. I wanted to reach out and stroke her back. Then I remembered that she was an Experiment and started backwards. She’s dangerous.
"They have to die." I knew. I knew as soon as I was caught. I knew that I was going to die but didn’t accept it. I could feel my whole body shaking. It was as if I was hearing everything from down a pit. Her hair flew around her head again, then, suddenly, she put her tiny hand into her mouth and bit down on it. My eyes flew open. What on earth?
"I'll give you one last chance,” the man’s voice came from the ceiling again. I shivered. He seemed to be enjoying it. The girl wailed a reply as she buried her head in her spindly knees. So frail. She suddenly went rigid, then shook all over. What’s happening?
“No…please…stop…it hurts.” She whimpered softly. I took a small, cautious step towards her. I couldn’t see her as a threat, even if the piles of ashes were her doing. He arm flew out towards me and I froze, the cold sweat on my neck coming back. “Don’t…” she whispered. “Don’t…”

I watched as her shaking became worse. It’s like watching Isa have a fit. I feel so helpless. Suddenly, her shaking stopped and she slumped to the floor. I started forwards.
“Don’t touch it with your filthy hands, Omega.” The man’s lazy voice cut through my thoughts like a blade. I stopped, breathing heavily. “That is an important specimen that you are not allowed to touch. So step away from it.” I hesitated. “Now.” I closed my eyes and walked towards the wall. “Good. You’re going to stay there, and people are going to come and get it.” I didn’t understand what was happening, who the girl was. I didn’t understand why the man was doing this to the girl. All I knew was that he was an Alpha, and she was an Experiment, and I was an Omega. That was all that mattered really, nowadays. Alphas were better than Omegas, Experiments were the toys of Alphas, and controlled Omegas. That was all that mattered, all that everyone cared about. I stood near the wall, watching as the Betas from earlier came and took the girl away through a different hole in the wall. They came back into the room and the Alpha’s voice stopped them.
“One of you take off his gag and de-magnetise those cuffs. I imagine that he’s too scared of E201 to damage it anyway.” One of them came over and did what he said. I rubbed my fingers under the metal bands and breathed deeply, filling my lungs.
“What…” my voice rasped through my throat. “What is she?”
“Tss, tss, tss. Ignorant Omegas shouldn’t ask about other people’s objects. You gave up your life coming here, so don’t ask questions that won’t be of any use to you.” I rubbed my hand over my eyes and tried to follow the Betas through the door to the black room.
“Oh, no. You’re staying there.” The door slid shut in front of me. “You won’t need to leave, especially if I get E201 to do what I want it to do. Now, be a good little grub and sit tight.” I closed my eyes. Fucking Alpha. I’m not your toy. Even if I thought that way, It wasn’t true. The Alphas could do whatever they wanted and no one could stop them. Isa… I thudded my forehead against the wall and sank to the floor. I’m sorry.

Experiment

I am sitting curled up on my bed, staring at the whiteness of the room, glance down at my arms wrapped around my knees, a darker white than the walls. The only splashes of colour in the room, I know, are my hair, a short cascade of fire curling around my ears, my eyes, I assume, and the flowing blue ink in cramped writing, covering the white pages that rest on the pristine desk. Darker white patches shadow the few pieces of furniture in the room.
I can't remember a time without the whiteness. I can't remember having seen the Outside, apart from in pictures. The only life I see are the people who bring food. And then there's the Voice. It decides whether I am to eat or not, whether I can write, whether I can use my power. The Voice can decide that I am to die, and I cannot dispute it's decision. I have come to regard it as the symbol of my captivity. It is the only voice that I hear apart from my own. I despise it. I want to be free, to see and hear the Outside, to know people who don't wear white.
But I know nothing of the Outside. I don’t know how to survive, how to defend myself, how to truly live. All I know how to do is to use my power, but I don’t want to hurt anyone with it.

I am sitting curled up on my bed, staring at the bleached whiteness of the room, glance down at my arms wrapped around my knees, a darker white than the walls. The only splashes of colour in the room, I kno-
“Good morning.” My thoughts freeze, then speed up, but my voice stays calm and even as I reply. The Voice has spoken so I may speak.
“Good morning, Voice.” Is it morning? There are no windows here. I cannot tell.
“Did you sleep well?” The concern is just an act, I’m sure. The Voice does not care how I am, as long as I can do my tests.
“As well as I always do.” My arms haven’t let go of my knees, in fact they seem to have tightened. I am always able to see my bones, more white under the darker white. Right now they stand out, my skin that it is a darker white than the walls turning whiter. The Voice knows that I rarely sleep well, I am sure, but it has never said a thing about my lie.
“Are you read for your tests?” No! I don’t want to! I’ve had enough!
“Yes, Voice.” My arms unravel from my knees; my bare feet kiss the floor. I stand up, wavering, slightly dizzy, but I am used to it. A humming noise, then a portion of the wall slides open and I step through the gap.

This does not lead to the Outside. I do not know how to get to the Outside. And I walk through the whiteness, wondering whether if maybe, someday, the Outside will come to me. Another gap opens open next to me and I walk through. Another room of whiteness, this time with no furniture. I sit down in the middle and close my eyes. I know what to do by now.
"The test will begin." The Voice, normally emotionless, seems to have an edge to it that I can't understand. I have names for so very few emotions. I hear the faint hum of a wall opening and stop wondering about emotions. I concentrate and sense souls. I know that they are animals. Animals don't have the same souls as humans. I have never seen an animal before. I take a slow deep breath and reach out with my power, touching each of the souls. They burn brighter for a second then disappear. New presences enter, bigger or smaller, more or less, and they all burn brighter before disappearing. They are always animal. Some days I wonder where they get all of these animals, whether they get them specifically for me to kill. I don't today. There is something that has stopped all thoughts.

There is a new soul, one that I have never felt in this room before. It isn't an animal, and my mind freezes in fear at the thought of what the Voice might have done. I reach out to the soul, not to touch it, but to search it, if I can. I lightly brush the top layer and mentally flinch backwards as my thoughts turn to ice. The Voice has sent in a human. I let my normal senses take over again and hear their rapid breathing, almost their heartbeat. They are... afraid. I know the name for that one. The Voice often asked me if I was afraid when I was a lot younger. I can feel my heartbeat speeding up.
"What's wrong?" the Voice asks inevitably. "Use your power." My eyes are clenched shut. I don't want to see what's in the room, burnt bodies, I assume, and a living one.
"I can't," I whisper. There is a pause. My breathing has sped up, faster than the human's. I know what happens when I don't do what the Voice says.
"You can't?" There is a dangerous edge to the Voice which makes me whimper and draw my legs to my chest, hugging them to my body. I know danger. I shake my head and my curls fly in a halo around my head.
"I can't." Can't, can't, can't. "It's a human." I was something more than afraid now, trembling uncontrollably like my curls.

"They have to die." I shake my head again. I can feel tears beading in my closed eyes. Tears just make the Voice more dangerous. I stuff my thin hand into my mouth and bite down on it, hard enough to draw blood.
"I'll give you one last chance," says the Voice, dangerously cajoling. I take my hand out of my mouth.
"No!" I whimper with a small wail as I bury my head into my knees. I know what is about to come.

The pain starts, slowly increasing, crushing my head, reducing my bones to dust. I can’t breathe. My body starts to shake and I can’t stop it. It has been a long time since the pain.
“No…please…stop…it hurts.” I whisper, not caring that the human can hear, just wanting the pain to stop. Suddenly, the human’s soul comes closer. Don’t... I put my hand out to stop them. I don’t want to hurt you. I can tell that they are scared again. I scare them. “Don’t…”I murmur around the pain. “Don’t…”
The pain becomes worse, reducing the world to a swirl of fire and shadows. The fire follows the shadows, plays with it, but the shadows are not friendly, and they eat the fire. The world is black.