i was once just____________________________________but now im not
an awkward little girl_______________________________but fun to look at--
with beaver teeth and frizzy curls_____________________so as to fall in love with
chasing pigeons down the street______________________for all the wrong reasons
----
I've always wanted to do a 'before and after' poem though I wasn't sure how to best execute it. Anyways, the title is how you're supposed to read it. First top to bottom and then left to right.
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140,624 Literary Works • 673,565 Reviews
wow that is soo cool !!!
if you read left to right it makes sense and if you read it by column it makes sense !! that is so cool! wow i really like that i do...
i would like for you to have more description and answer to some of the questions i am going to be asking.
why were you chasing penguins?!
what are the wrong reasons?
who made fun of you? why?
how did it affect you?
other than these questions i have nothing.
good write.
I have to say, Love the title. It is said to not judge a book by its covers, but how else to do we choose what to read here. The poem didn't have anything to do with title, though that is not important considering how well written the poem is. I think it was a great message and flow.
My only critic is to add a subtitle that will do better justice to what you have portrayed: Prejudice, Stereotypes, Love, Relationships, and the unfortunate divorce rate in America. Good reading, you have skillfully written this piece.
Thank you for your kind reviews
And you both are right. By top to bottom, I actually meant column by column :X my bad! But thanks for correcting me.
I think with this a lot of the meaning depends on how it is read, and it's difficult to get it across right because I couldn't use punctuations at all, otherwise it would interfere with the way it's read. i.e. if I were to put commas so that it would make grammatical sense column-by-column, it would interfere with the reading left-to-right.
But I agree. Left-to-right was probably the biggest challenge, mainly because it is full of fragments whereas column-by-column it flows a lot better (cause that's what we're used to ^^). But here's how it's meant to be punctuated:
But I will definitely go back and revise, maybe think up of some solutions. Thanks again, guys ^^ I really appreciate it.
Hi.
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I think it reads better column by column. (I certainly wouldn't call that top to bottom. Then we'd read it, I an with...
When read left to right, we have this interesting phrase:
with beaver teeth and frizzy curls, so as to fall in love with,
chasing pigeons down the street, for all the wrong reasons.
It's definitely not bad, that way, but the line about the pigeons doesn't fit with the line above it about your looks. Whereas when read by column, it's more of why you were awkward. You had frizzy curls and chased pigeons.
I could see the two versions being on pages in a book facing each other...Hmm...
Hello Audy!
Ok, so I think this is really cool!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure it makes sense being read column by column AND left to right all the way across?
Anyway, even though it's very simple, it is a very interesting piece, and I like it a lot.
Awesome job.
:Rachel