I threw down my addiction. I needed to stop. None of it was true, none of it! It didn't exist. Liars, I thought to myself. Romance is fiction.
My addiction was love stories. I absolutely mesmerized by the admiration between characters. Everyone knows that when you read about something a lot, you begin to believe its true. Example A: I read Harry Potter, and for a year I was waiting for Dumbledore to come and take me away. You read too much, bam! Reality abandons you.
Back to love. For example, Twilight by Stephanie Meyer. I hate it. The love between Bella and freaking handsome Edward is contagious. So, now every one's waiting for their strong, God-like Edward to come along and whisk them off their feet. Newsflash; not happening.
It's rare men will go for the extra mile for me, for any one. They don't know what to do! They don't read romance. They don't yearn for someone who understands them. They see a hot girl; 'uh, wanna go see a movie?' Of course, we women normally say yes to all date invitations. Who knows? Your biology partner maybe an amazing listener, as well as an amazing kisser.
At that moment I was reading Seventeenth Summer by Maureen Daly . It was long, but the plot was simple; ordinary girl meets hot guy, guy asks her out, calls her beautiful, she falls in love with him, he makes her drink beer, cheats on her, she moves away, blah blah blah. Not that interesting, but when your a love story addict, anything will do.
I'm not the type that will just say yes. I have to be friends first. If I start blushing around him, I'll wait for him to ask me out. Then when we go out, I find out he's a jerk and cut it off. If there's one little thing the story book says is wrong, the relationship with that unlucky fellow was over.
This was a horrible start, but I want to explain what love really is. You'd be smart if you read this before that 'Realistic Fiction' love-story your bestie recommended.
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,777 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Okayy we're starting off on an interesting note here. Not the sort of thing you manage to run into everyday I think so that's nice, and the somewhat unique selling point there does make you want to read on and find out what is going on just that little bit more, and perhaps more than that as readers we want to know what brought this person to this point.
Hmm...well this is a nice bit of character development there. I like that we started off with those somewhat more random generic comments and now we're focusing a little more thoroughly on how this ties into this person's actual life and sort of the general situation said life happens to be in. It is certainly continuing to be interesting so that's pretty good.
Well that was quite the ending. I feel like that took a bit of a turn there from a more normal sort of just this person talking about their love of books and how that effects them to something a bit deeper ingrained in their personality. Its certainly an interesting sort of leap. It feels a bit sudden but then at the same time it does make for a nice ending I think.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Ummm... Well, *cough* it was... interesting. I think it was really more a biography than a prologue to a story. I would like to see where you go with this. SO
Negatives:
There wasn't anything that made me want to read more. At all. And you had quite a few references to books, which isn't a problem, but... if you want to make something your own original work, you have to keep it that way.
Positives:
This has a real and true message. I'm sure lot's of people think that romance fiction is true, and this would be good for them. It has potential!
Remember, you put this in romance fiction. This seems more about romance fiction than belonging in that genre. Just a tip!
Yes, where exactly is this story headed? Like the user above me stated, who is your character? What are their personality traits, flaws...?
No offense, but this seems like something you simply wrote on a whim. If you want a story to be readable, try to add more detail. It's really difficult to feel the cahracter, or get into the story at all when it's written like this.
*Aubree~
Here are some thought & comments while reading.
*Show & Tell~
Remember going to kindergarten and doing show and tell? Where you would show and describe your stuff. This piece is all tell and no show. Instead of flat out telling everything on the MC's mind, describe what she's feeling. Annoyance, hatred, happiness, sorrow, etc.
*Character~
I don't really feel the character, here. What personalities does she have? Look around at the people who surround you. What are they like? Jot them down and you'll come up with a good list. Then use those key pointers and build your MC from that.
*Story Time~
I have to ask, what is the plot line to this story? I don't want to sound rude, but this prologue sounds more like a rant. What she does and doesn't like in romantic fiction. What is the MC getting at when she is explaining what love is?
*Overall~
If you use the pointers I gave you and everyone else's then it should help you. If you need help with this, go ahead and give me a pm. I'll be glad to help. And I hope I didn't seem too harsh. My apologies.
*Merry