For the Final Battle of the First Ever YWS Hunger Games, the Capitol had said that we must find our oldest piece of writing, revise it, and then publish both the old and the new version. I assumed at first that we had to find the oldest work we had published on YWS, which indeed appears to be the case, but since my first work I had published was my entry for the Blood Bath, I was in trouble.
I foolishly asked whether I was supposed to revise an extract from my very first novel - a novel I had deliberately dismissed - and, as I am sure you can have deduced by now, the Capitol approved of the idea.
What you see before you is the edited version of a project I had started at the age of thirteen. Since its dismissal, I have kept the actual documents, both of the story and its planning, as a reminder of bygone days. However, it seems Fate had had me keep it for other reasons as well...
Originally, the novel was called Genesis, but I later changed it to Scratching the Surface and finally Still Waters. The last was an edited version of the second which I had rewritten from the beginning and saved in a different document, but because of this, I could not use it for this challenge.
For the first version, Scratching the Surface, I had written a prologue, but seeing as it's the last thing I did before I rewrote it and ultimately cancelled the series (even back then I was ambitious), I have selected the first super-paragraph* of my first chapter as my entry. Chapter One's title is "The Simultaneous life of a Count and Herbalist," which is why I named this entry the same. (*Oh, and a super-paragraph is my term for that collection of paragraphs that stretches from one break - indicated by an open line, a horizontal rule, an asterisk, etc. - to another. I named it so because I am not sure what the actual term is, if there even is one.)
Before I conclude this foreword (sorry!), I must add a few details considering the story: Edrich is 32, but since I had created my own time system, that means he still a young adult, as elders typically reach 171 to 200 years of age. Also, a shadow is an hour and a light is a day.
Beneath the first asterisk you will find my new and (hopefully) improved version, and beneath the second you will find the version created on Wednesday, December 14, 2011, 1:01:23 PM. All praise, criticism and suggestions will be much appreciated.
*
Edrich was exhausted. He had accepted the responsibilities that came along with the title his father had passed on to him without complaint, but the thing he despised most was the politics.
Five lights before present, Edrich had been taking his usual morning stroll through the city, when a man had stopped him. He had asked whether Edrich would talk business with him, and Edrich had obliged, following him to his office. Once there, the man explained that he wanted to sell his iron mine because he wanted to go live with his niece in another city.
At first, Edrich was dubious, but the man persisted that if he bought the mine, he could sell his iron to the blacksmiths and then buy the created weapons for his armoury, effectively acquiring weapons without much payment. Edrich reluctantly agreed, and purchased the mine. His initial suspicions were well-founded though, for the owner had neglected to mention that the mine was nearly depleted.
Edrich had felt conned, but, optimist that he was, he decided to use the opportunity to fund the search for iron deeper in the mine. It was a potentially crippling risk, but a risk that payed off well.
Word soon spread of the vast amount of iron in the County of Lavender Hills, and people soon arrived to benefit from it themselves: new blacksmiths had opened their forges, and even a few dignitaries had come to arrange for a regular supply. All of said dignitaries had bargained for more or less half a shadow – all, that is, but a baron who had arrived a light before present; he and Edrich had discussed the issue for at least two shadows until both parties were satisfied. No more people had arrived since then, and even though it was good business, Edrich hoped none would.
He quickly threw on some indigo robes and hastily pulled a comb through his hair before making for the dining room.
It was elegantly decorated, with marble floors and walls and maple furniture, but there were no unnecessary twirls and decorations on these; the Feldspars had always preferred beauty in simplicity to overwhelming embellishments. At the end of a magnificent dining table, Edrich's mother, Lady Charlotte Feldspar, was already helping herself to some fruit.
‘Good morning, Edrich,' she greeted her son, her turquoise eyes smiling along with the rest of her face. 'Did you sleep well?’
Edrich kissed her on the cheek and sat beside her.
‘I did, thank you.’
The Lady Feldspar reflected the preference of her family perfectly, wearing a sleek dress of different shades of blue, an ermine fur coat and a small pair of golden earrings.
‘Well,' she asked, 'do you think you have the energy to handle another light at the castle?’
Edrich groaned. ‘Only if there aren’t any more bargaining noblemen. If there are, I’ll pretend to be ill and return home immediately.’
‘As fate would have it though, you and Rudolph are the only herbalists in the county.’
‘Yes, that does ruin my escape plan, doesn’t it?’
‘It does, indeed,’ Charlotte chuckled.
‘Well then, if I’m not seen again by sunset, send a search party to look for my corpse at the bottom of the cliffs.’ Although he would never commit suicide, dealing with too many noblemen in rapid succession was truly exhausting.
‘Rubbish! I raised you to face problems head on, not run away with your tail between your legs. You’ll attend to any matters that come your way, or I’ll… make you a sewage worker without the generous payment.’
‘That’s an unusually cruel punishment!’
‘You’ll go, then?’
‘I didn’t realise I had a choice.’
‘You don’t. Now eat your fruit.’
Edrich took a peach and some slices of pineapple and watermelon.
‘What is this, anyway?’ he inquired, pointing with his knife at the pineapple.
‘It’s a fruit that grows in the tropical forests of Canori,' his mother answered. 'I’m not sure what they call it, but here in the west it's called pineapples due to its resemblance to a pine cone.’
‘It definitely tastes better than a pine cone,’ Edrich said, taking a bite, ‘though it does taste a bit sour.’
‘If you think a pineapple alone tastes sour, you should never try a combination between that, strawberries and lemons.’
‘Mom, no!' Edrich was appalled. 'You actually tried that?’
‘I was dared,’ Charlotte responded, an amused smile playing on her lips.
‘By whom?’
‘Our chamberlain.’
‘Ariel?’ Edrich shook his head in amazement. ‘I would never have thought that she…’
‘That she what?’
‘Had a sense of humour.’
‘Edrich, you shouldn’t,' Charlotte admonished. 'What if she heard you?’
‘Sorry, but she’s just so…’
‘Strict?’ his mother finished for him.
‘Yes, exactly.’
‘It just goes to show you that looks can be deceiving.’
‘Alright, my philosophical mother, I admit defeat.’
‘Already?' she teased. 'That was too easy. And while we’re on the subject, here’s some more advice: Always be wary of eavesdroppers.’ She winked. ‘Isn’t that right, young lady?’
A maid stepped shyly out from behind an arch. ‘Not a single word shall pass my lips,’ she said and disappeared down a corridor.
Charlotte just laughed.
*
Edrich was exhausted. He had accepted the responsibilities that came along with the title his father had passed on to him without complaint, but the thing he despised most, was the politics.
Five lights before present, Edrich had been taking his usual morning stroll through the city, when a man had stopped him. He had asked whether Edrich would talk business with him, and had taken him to his office. It turned out that the man wanted to sell his iron mine because he wanted to go live with his niece in another city. He persisted that if Edrich bought the mine, he could sell his iron to the blacksmiths and then buy the created weapons for his armoury, effectively acquiring weapons without much payment. Edrich had understood the man’s reasoning perfectly, and purchased the mine. What the owner had neglected to mention though, was that the mine was nearly depleted.
Edrich had felt conned, but, optimist that he was, he decided to use the opportunity to fund the search for iron deeper in the mine. It was a huge risk, but a risk that payed off well.
Word soon spread of the vast amount of iron in the County of Lavender Hills, and people soon arrived to benefit from it themselves. New blacksmiths had set up shop, and even a few dignitaries had come to arrange for a regular supply.
All of them had bargained for more or less half a shadow, with the exception of a single baron who had arrived the previous light. They had discussed the issue for at least two shadows until both parties were satisfied.
No more people had arrived since then, and even though it was good business, Edrich hoped none would.
He got dressed and made for the dining room. His mother, Lady Charlotte Feldspar, was already helping herself to some fruit.
‘Good morning, Edrich. Did you sleep well?’
Edrich kissed her on the cheek and sat beside her.
‘I did, thank you.’
‘Well, do you think you have the energy to handle another light at the castle?’
Edrich groaned. ‘Only if there aren’t any more bargaining noblemen. If there are, I’ll pretend to be ill and return home immediately.’
‘Though as fate would have it, you and Rudolph are the only herbalists around.’
‘Yes, that kind of ruins my plan, doesn’t it?’
‘It does, indeed.’
‘Well then, if I’m not seen again by sunset, send a search party to look for my corpse at the bottom of the cliffs.’
‘Rubbish! I raised you to face problems head on, not run away with your tail between your legs. You’ll attend to any matters that come your way, or I’ll… make you a sewage worker without the generous payment.’
‘That’s a cruel and unusual punishment!’
‘You’ll go, then?’
‘I didn’t realise I had a choice.’
‘You don’t. Now eat your fruit.’
Edrich took a peach and some slices of pineapple and watermelon.
‘What is this, anyway?’ he said, pointing with his knife at the pineapple.
‘It’s a fruit that grows in the tropical forests of Canori. I’m not sure what they call it, but we Westerns call it pineapples due to its resemblance to a pine cone.’
‘It definitely tastes better than a pine cone,’ Edrich said, taking a bite out of a slice, ‘though it does taste a bit sour.’
‘If you think a pineapple alone tastes sour, you should never try a combination between that, strawberries and lemons.’
‘Mom, no! You actually tried that?’
‘I was dared.’
‘By whom?’
‘Our chamberlain.’
‘Ariel?’ Edrich shook his head in amazement. ‘I would never have thought that she could…’
‘Could what?’
‘Have fun.’
‘Edrich, you shouldn’t. What if she heard you?’
‘Sorry, but she’s just so…’
‘Strict?’ his mother finished.
‘Yes, exactly.’
‘It just goes to show you that looks can be deceiving.’
‘Alright, my philosophical mother, I admit defeat.’
‘Already? That was too easy. And while we’re on the subject, here’s some more advice: Always be wary of eavesdroppers.’ She winked. ‘Isn’t that right, young lady?’
A maid stepped shyly out from behind an arch.
‘Not a single word shall pass my lips,’ she said and disappeared down a corridor.
Charlotte just laughed.
) I would have had plenty of time to add. Had I written it as a short story, I would naturally have added them, but I suppose I simply did not realise that when I had submited this. I shall add them as soon as possible, though.
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