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Tribute to Seth

by Asrael96

Okay so the first time I met you I really liked you. I knew from that moment that you would be someone special to me. But little did I know just how special you would be.… You are super duper special to me. You have helped me unknowingly through some of the hardest days of my life since I came back from boarding school. You Seth are someone I would do anything for and do anything to make sure you were happy and safe. :) I love you more than you will ever know. Tonight has been especially hard because of my therapy session today and my confrontation with John. I have a knife right now and I am thinking to myself. For the life of me I want to just type "I'm sorry and goodbye" but I can't seem to do that. Earlier i said it was because I was thinking of you and now I know it is evacuee of you that I can't do it. I can't kill myself. Seth you mean so much to me and you are my light at the end of a very very dark tunnel. It is because of you and my love for you that I just can't seem to kill myself. I wish you were here to hold me while I cry and to tell me everything will be alright with your wondrous voice. I will no doubt see you in my dreams tonight like I so often do. I am sorry that my breakdown on Monday meant that you can't stay out late like that for a week. :( although maybe it is time to tell your dad and mom that I mean more than just some friend. Not necessarily your boyfriend though I am. Maybe your best friend who relies on you for emotional support and who you must go to when they say they need you. Tell them Seth. Tell them something and seem passionate about it. Even if you are just saying I am your best friend because I need to know I can count on you coming if I need you because I have no one else who can care for me like you can. You may consider that a curse but I don't. I see you as my light. The Lux Eterna of my world. (Means Eternal Light). You saying good morning and good night means the world to me. A hug from you anywhere means I am safe then and there. A kiss from you be it on the cheek or lips or forehead is enough to light up my day. Spending time with you is more than enough to make me feel like my life is not only worth living but worth valuing. Something that because of my past I don't usually feel. You have opened my eyes to a whole new work of emotions and feelings without knowing it. Seth you have changed who I am without trying to. And I must thank you for everything. You I will never be able to repay. So instead Seth I wish to forever have you as my friend. I love you. Through you I no longer want to live a life of fear. A life of sorrow and pain. A life of dread and envy. I want serenity and bliss. Happiness and joy. Live and above all else you. I want you in my life forever Seth. Not as a husband though that would make my life. As a friend but not just any friend. My best friend. Always and forever Seth. :)

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1322 Reviews

Points: 24411
Reviews: 1322

Tue Jan 22, 2013 3:54 pm
Hannah wrote a review...

This is obviously very close to you, so I wonder what you want to get out of posting it on a forums for reviews. What is your direction with this piece? Do you want critiques on how to make it better communicate to Seth, or tips on how to make it better express your relationship to outside readers? Just remember that posting it on this forum is not just asking for compliments or brief comments, but reviews that can direct you where to start during revisions and editing.

Which means paragraphs and proof reading are the first things you'll need to do.

Next, the toughest thing at all, is keeping yourself in check. What things are you referencing that only you will know about? What things are full of emotion for you but not clear to the reader? For example, the reference to your past ("Something that because of my past I don't usually feel") is very vague. We have no idea what happened in your past, but you and Seth certainly do. Letting us know what you mean would help us get better settled in your relationship.

I like a lot of the specifics you bring in: the idea that maybe he sees your devotion as a curse on yourself, or that he has a habit of saying good morning and goodnight, the idea that something happened on Monday that limited your help while giving you help in that moment. I think it might help you to experiment with drawing these out into longer stories, not necessarily directed at Seth. You might find in a more objective tone what really impressed you about Seth. If you try to rationalize the reasons you love a person to someone OUTSIDE of the relationship it gets a lot harder and relies a lot more on specifics, so that could serve to help you bring this to more vividness.

Well, lemme know the answer to my question and I can probably help more. :) PM me or leave a wall post as I don't get notifications for replies to reviews just yet.

Good luck!

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89 Reviews

Points: 625
Reviews: 89

Sat Jan 12, 2013 2:31 pm
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abelgaiya wrote a review...

Wow! I could really feel the emotions pervading through the words! It seems real...a little too real.

I would have criticized the lack of appropriate spacing, if not for the touch of passionate exigency it gives to the whole writing.

I also admire the stories that go on within the story (inception). E.g the breakdown on Monday and Seth having the obligation to tell his parents about his relationship with Jephta.

Nice work! And I hope you keep on writing.

Asrael96 says...

Well thank you! Though just admit this is not a story and very real. Also it was done on a phone so I apologize for the spacing.

Never use your shield as a dinner plate, for that is when the enemy is most likely to attack.
— The KotGR Commander