Some things are undescribable. The feelings a woman holds for a man, or the feelings a man holds for a woman. No one can grasp the concept of 'Love.' What is love? A word used to often or a word hardly used? Love is a feeling. A feeling that cannot be described in words. So, when you feel lost, you get a knot in your tummy, you can't think clearly, you stutter with your words. That, is love. When you can't feel to lie, when you want to be with them and only them 24/7, that is love. Until you experience love. You know not of happiness. Why do love? Why can't you just, have strong feelings for someone. Well, you can. You tell yourself not to let you fall but, you can't bear it. You're reaching extreme distances just to feel love, to feel wanted. - To be irrevicably in love is to love to no end. Your love goes round and round in circles. Your love is stronger than anything. You could fight off the world together. You never know how in love you are with someone until, you've either: A) Spent a long time with them. B) Messed up and lost them. C) Went weeks apon weeks without them. D) They're mad at you.
How much can one love? Are the numbers endless? Are they so little to magnify? No one knows. You could love someone enough to take a bullet for them. You could love someone so much that you would die to see them live. You could love them so much that you would do anything to make them smile, to make them happy. To the point to where they're your everything. their you're world.
What is love?
Love is life.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,856 Reviews
What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.
Hey little author here,
Since the people before me have already told you off about the errors, I'll tell you about the good in this short story. It was very powerful and I thought it was very well written. I could tell you have probably had many debates about love and what it is so you had some sort of argument though out it. I have recently had my heart broken by a boy I had liked since what seemed like forever, so this really made me feel a bit better. In other words, it was beautiful.
Keep writing
I like little short argument like things such as this. One small spelling mistake was that "apon" is spelled upon. First to formatting when one first looks at this it appears to be a giant clump of words. When you write a piece like this you need something to back it up, facts or quotes or the like. Otherwise many will view this as a giant rant, but I really did enjoy reading this and seeing your point of view. There really is no writing style to critique because this isn't really a plot, is it? I do look forward to seeing more of you opinions on different matters in life, I shall read more so do tell me when something else like this is posted. Thanks!
Hi there, AskShirley333.
I'm GeeLyria and I'm here to review for you.
To be honest, I can easily raise my hand and argue against many of your sentences in this essay. Truth is that it needs a lot of help; you need to sit down and think about what you're saying and all the possible what if's. To tell you the truth, love is the most difficult thing to write about if you want to make it look rational. What I suggest you is to research... What is love from other perspectives? The best way to persuade someone is to have a solid base. And I'm afraid nothing is more solid than science, for words are just words. In fact, love is science. And I think this essay would be amazingly improved if you'd have something authorized (such as science) to have your back.
I can easily argue with this. And that is because those things you mention are exactly what a kid feels when he's about the get beat up by a bully near school. Is that love? I doubt it. You need a to support this opinion with a better and more convincing explanation.
It would be nice if you'd explain who are "them", directly. When you're writing an essay, you want to make sure the reader (who you are persuading) never gets lost; you want to avoid misunderstandings. Who are them? The feelings? Or, a special someone?
Those are just little things, because I don't want to shred this essay to pieces... Mainly, it doesn't really have a base that is not based in opinion.
~GeeLyria
Okay, so Black here for a review!
So first off I’ll mention that I, sadly, no longer believe in love . . . I know it’s the thing that everyone sings about, writes about, and dreams about . . . But I don’t believe it’s what they say it is. . . What they say it is, isn’t what it is, but what they want it to be . . . Love doesn’t last, that feeling you feel when you meet someone, it goes away: Always. . . . There are no exceptions, not in real life . . . So your first problem is that the whole thing you wrote about here is wrong . . .
You believe that love is never-ending . . . when it isn’t. Do you know that over 50% of all marriages end in divorce? It’s because people believe like you do, and they think that once they’ve been together for a couple years what they had at first will still be there. And when reality hits, they can’t keep together, they won’t try, because they expect it all to be done for them . . . And then they fall apart.
Grammar:
I think you mean ‘indescribable’ here.
Comma instead of period after ‘feeling’ (First).
Cut out the comma, or replace it with a colon/semi-colon.
I don’t get that first part, it doesn’t make sense.
It’s ‘irrevocably’ not ‘irrevicably’.
Question mark at the end.
You used ‘apon’ once, instead of ‘upon’, and you used ‘their’ instead of ‘They’re’. . . .
Other than all those, and the fact that this is all one big paragraph, this is really pretty good. Make sure you break down this paragraph if you want to keep it.
Be careful about what you write about, if this was a piece of poetry then I wouldn’t have cared whether or not the whole theme made sense or not . . . but this isn’t poetry, it doesn’t read as poetry, and it doesn’t come across as poetry. It comes across as an argument, a belief.
Really? You wrote it quite well.
Keep up this writing (I like the way you write – it reads easily).
Sorry if it was a bit harsh . . .
~Black~