June's Story

Hi, Asher123 Tsunami here with a review on your great story like I said. I hope I help.

Okay the story is really good I will sure say that. I like the feeling in it it's peaceful to me. I like the name to.
Now all I am going to do is separate your sentences were people are talking. Okay this is what yours looks like.

"I still miss the chutney's from the Burney's you know?''. June said to Mary Anne " my name is not June actually it's Preeti but Hans calls me June so now i am stuck with the name". "This poor brown girl. How did she even end up at the camp?. It must be hard to live in her skin" said Mary Anne's mother Julia another deportee at Auschwitz concentration camps. "I was very young when the British took me to the white world the captain on the voyage told me to hold my breath for the beauty that I am about to witness he described the Islands as the bright light at the end of a very dark tunnel...... it was a very beautiful lie" June was unsure about what God had planned for her because she went from India to the Royal Islands to Poland in just a span of a year and of course the year is 1945 it has been 5 years since it all started " You know? I really miss pupa he was hard sometimes but he is still my father and now that it has been over a year I highly doubt the fact that he still believes that i am coming back. I just want this all to be over" June said as tears slowly started to roll down her eyes " You know before the war I thought that my biggest mistake was not attending college but now I realize that my sole mistake in the time of my life is believing in something that I thought was right" said Mary Anne as clutched tighter on to the Star of David. It has been three days since they last fed the POW's there is no supply of food but the sound of gunfire and bombs are plenty a full this only grew the hunger in the prisoners but not for food but for death. "This evening has been rather quiet" June said pointing out the lack of gunfire and bombardment in the daily routine. ----BANG-----. there is complete silence afterwards but you can hear chatter in a rather Familiar language it was Polish then the announcement was made which actually made me faint " The Prisoners can come out of the barracks the camps have been liberated. The Prisoners can come out of the barracks the camps have been liberated.''. June Happily smiled and looked upon her Grandchildren who were all asleep by now. This is a Good Ending.

"I still miss the chutney's from the Burney's you know?''. June said to Mary Anne, " my name is not June actually it's Preeti but Hans calls me June so now I am stuck with the name".

"This poor brown girl. How did she even end up at the camp?. It must be hard to live in her skin" said Mary Anne's mother Julia another deportee at Auschwitz concentration camps. "I was very young when the British took me to the white world the captain on the voyage told me to hold my breath for the beauty that I am about to witness he described the Islands as the bright light at the end of a very dark tunnel...... it was a very beautiful lie"

June was unsure about what God had planned for her because she went from India to the Royal Islands to Poland in just a span of a year and of course the year is 1945 it has been 5 years since it all started

" You know? I really miss pupa he was hard sometimes but he is still my father and now that it has been over a year I highly doubt the fact that he still believes that I am coming back. I just want this all to be over" June said as tears slowly started to roll down her eyes.

"You know before the war I thought that my biggest mistake was not attending college but now I realize that my sole mistake in the time of my life is believing in something that I thought was right" said Mary Anne as clutched tighter on to the Star of David.

It has been three days since they last fed the POW's there is no supply of food but the sound of gunfire and bombs are plenty a full this only grew the hunger in the prisoners but not for food but for death.

"This evening has been rather quiet" June said pointing out the lack of gunfire and bombardment in the daily routine. ----BANG-----. there is complete silence afterwards but you can hear chatter in a rather Familiar language it was Polish then the announcement was made which actually made me faint

" The Prisoners can come out of the barracks the camps have been liberated. The Prisoners can come out of the barracks the camps have been liberated.''. June Happily smiled and looked upon her Grandchildren who were all asleep by now.

This is a Good Ending.

Hey! It was a great story.

“The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.”
― G.K. Chesterton

I would like to start my review with the positives.

#It was beautiful the way Preeti alias June was showed in your story. Your lines highlight her ethnicity, While reminding reader that still she's a prisoner of war(POW).

#It was a great war story which distinctly projects the problems,complications of a war.

It would be better if it's spaced, Narration and the dialogues should be differentiated for clarity. "I's" and "a" in "anne" should be capitalized. I think the story shifted at a very fast pace making it less summated.

Sounds like bang can be placed between # for making it look more appealing. Unnecessary capitalization should be avoided.

I hope you are not offended by my criticisms You did a really great job, I did not expect the ending part,It really made me go from to . Keep writing!