i'm no longer afraid of the boogie man
i'm afraid of boys with chocolate eyes and a crooked smile
That only know how to lie to me
- You're slowly killing me
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140,685 Literary Works • 673,594 Reviews
The poem is short but simple.
It is immediately clear that even though the fear of most is simple things such as the boogie man. A boy has come a long and done lasting damage by using his lies as a weapon. That have now installed fear of boys with chocolate eyes and a crooked smile.
The entire ethic of the poem is simply wonderful.
You portrayed your emotions perfectly with such few words. I'm sure you have achieved the required impact
Wonderful
Such simple but beautiful work of art
i admire the simplicity of your poem, and however its power of describing the complexity there is within relationsships, and the love and fears which are brought along.
Really nice
i admire the simplicity of your poem, and however its power of describing the complexity there is within relationsships, and the love and fears which are brought along.
Really nice
Too short to really review properly, I think, but sure. I'll give it my best.
It's not really poem-like, I'd say. I'll admit that despite not liking free verse at all, it still sort of counts as poetry. Your work would probably do better as prose though. Writing, say, some flash fiction on the topic might just convey a more powerful message.
You should capitalize "I" when referring to yourself, and I would use "who" instead of "that" in the third line. That, and the hyphen doesn't seem necessary.
Other than that, the topic's fine. Gotta be careful with people. Some people are manipulative and using, while others are kind and understanding. All about finding the right one and giving even the less desirable individuals a chance to shine.
hey there Asahi18, i've just stopped by to give a quick review of your poem so here goes nothing. first off, even though the poem itself is very short, each of the lines seem to carry a lot of weight and makes the poem feel more complete as a whole which is a hard thing to pull off. The last line in particular really struck a chord with me. It's haunting, in a way. I think your piece is very relatable, unfortunately, and overall you did a nice job conveying your feelings. Keep writing and have a great day!