Published April 22, 2005
Time goes by fast,
but whats with the past.
The future is clear,
but you will disappear.
The mountains are high,
as high as the sky.
But still the wind blows,
all creation is low.
The flags will wave,
the silence of a cave,
and then history will save.
But still these phrases stand.
Learn from the past,
live in the present,
plan for the future.
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Canary word: Present
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140,588 Literary Works • 673,542 Reviews
I didn't really understand what you were trying to say until I got to the last three lines which, for me, would have been great without the other parts.
this is a great poem.
so if youd excuse me, im going to make my time count.
(dang, i only read live changing poems today)
keep it up
vince
Not bad, it ws readable.
I liked some of your imagery and the structure was okay, but maybe you should concentrate on the rhythm so that when it is read, it flows well and the reader enjoys it and doesn't abandon before the last line.
It seemed a little flighty. I couldn't really figure out what in the world you were trying to say until the last few lines, and then it was over before my mind really grasped it.
Last line, fifth stanza, take out one of the "then"s.