Young Writers Society


12+

Tales From A Vigilante :Prologue

by Ariiskoala


PROLOGUE

Light and dark, good and evil, hero and villain. This is the world I live in. A virus spread across the world in 2020 that gave people superhuman abilities. The first few years were chaos, until the strongest of people came together and used their new powers to bring order back to our society. The aftermath resulted in people of justice being named Darlings while criminals were named Miscreants. With mankind in a new era, problems started to bubble under the surface of Darlings who got greedy with their newfound power and status. It is now the year 2121 and I've made it my mission to put together a couple people who liked to blur the lines between Darling and Miscreant to help me fix our corrupt society.


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33 Reviews


Points: 837
Reviews: 33

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Wed Dec 16, 2020 7:07 pm
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piyaliarchives wrote a review...



piyali archives

Hi there @Ariiskoala !
Firstly, welcome to YWS!

Okay now onto the review:
When I read the first couple of sentences I thought "these lines have been overused". It is not like you don't have to begin with those lines, that's your choice!

And the storyline, it is interesting, but I wish you would have gone into the depth of it a little. Example like you could expand on what KIND of abilities people have attained. It would hook your readers more.

I also would have liked if you told more about the protagonist, like the name.

But overall I am very interested in reading more of this story!

I hope you will stick with us here ^^

Thanks!




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7 Reviews


Points: 50
Reviews: 7

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Tue Dec 15, 2020 3:34 pm
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YOUKNOWWHO wrote a review...



Hello, how are you hope you are well.



It's an alright prologue but I feel that the story needs a little more Pizzaz or ''originality''.
The story seems similar to "the darkest minds". You something original such as People who didn't get powers got turned into zombies. Or The Some of the miscreants are uniting with a
The alien force which turns out made the virus. Or The Chinese made the virus as a super-soldier formula you also need a lot more variety with superpowers.


A virus spread across the world in 2020 that gave people superhuman abilities.
This sounds like an idea that is used a lot give a little originality to the story and
bota-bing bota-boom you got yourself an original yet familiar story for the readers




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10 Reviews


Points: 1137
Reviews: 10

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Tue Dec 15, 2020 1:28 pm
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Calandra wrote a review...



Greetings.

I don't have much to say about the delivery, it's good. The clarity is fine, as I can understand most things here and the ones I can't are my own fault. Not really any grammar problems, but there are a few comma things I won't linger on because those are easy to spot out and fix.

I don't exactly like prologues, but I don't hate them. There are people who write thousands of words when it could've been for the first chapter. This isn't really that. When I think prologue I think couple of pages, and this is only one hundred something words. Shorter leaning chapters aren't bad, but prologues are meant for information, and this is barely there.

I'd suggest going about how the city was before chaos, how it was during, and the aftermath in depth. If there's a main character, tell how it affected them and their close relatives' lives. There isn't anything for engagement here, and if there was, I think I could find myself enjoying this, even if I've seen "Light and dark, good and evil, etc" hundreds of times.

Cal





The mind of man is capable of anything - because everything is in it, all the past as well as all the future.
— Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness