I’ve asked this question to myself for years now
I doubt I’ll ever ask it aloud
Why is nothing ever enough?
Even when I just want to make you proud?
Since I am human,
I tend to make mistakes
But I’m afraid of messing up
Your approval is always at stake
Some days I am onshore
Others I am nearly drowning
One day you are smiling at me
The next day you are frowning.
I did not come to you when I questioned my own existence
You simply assumed I was bubbly and fine
I do blame you for making these assumptions
The fault is truly mine
I looked you in the eye and claimed I was okay
I didn’t dare tell you the feelings I held inside
When I was out of your view I would tremble and shake
I refused all help even when you pried.