Heyo Ari!
Hope you're doing well today or tonight, depending on what side of the world you're on, obviously. I'm here to give you a review! Let's get started, now, shall we?
I’m lying in a patch of grass that could use a trim, right next to the empty swing set.
I would probably start a new paragraph here, since you're describing the main character's description now. Also, don't you lie "on" a patch of grass instead of lying "in" a patch of grass?
You wouldn’t be able to tell that he was just winning the cannonball contest, unless you payed mind to how his skin glistened like a just-opened jar of Nutella. He jogged over to me.
Wouldn't that bold word - payed - be "paid", instead? Or maybe it's a different spelling of the same word. But I'm a 100% sure that it is definitely supposed to be "paid". At least, that's how I would write it.
“I’m really bored. I wanna talk to you”
Okay, so over here, you need a period at the end. Also, you don't quite make it clear that who's talking. So maybe start a new paragraph and tell us who is.
Now, overall, this story is great! The description you give is outstanding. And your word choice? Don't even get me started. It's amazing! Anyhoo, my review is over. I hope this helped in one way or the other. Of course, if you've got any questions, feel free to ask!
Keep on writing!
~Liberty
Points: 925
Reviews: 453
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