"I Can Taste You"/Vanilla

I should have reviewed this before since I know so much about it. Ok... here we go.

'Eyes locked on
A growing tension
The sort of tension
That existed before
Just not in this form'

Well I know what this means. *giggles* Staring is such an intimate, sexy thing. And the tension did grow unbelievably. You're right, we hadn't experienced it before in that form. It was even better than before.

'Just not to this extent
The extent in which
We exchange more than just saliva
"I can taste you"
"I can smell you"'

You smell and taste nice. XD Let's leave the saliva line to the imagination of the reader. Although it is very accurate. And highly sexual I might add.

'A million kisses bloom
Resulting from the realisation
That we can touch
As if we have conquered all
Or, to put it in your words, "amazeballs"'

I could just review your amaze-balls kissing skills. But I will focus. *calms herself* That realisation was da best. And we did conquer distance. Wasn't that hard actually. XD

'I have a feeling we will meet again
Sweet vanilla
The smell still strong as I go to sleep
And then eventually the distance will cease
And we'll live together in peace'

You ol romantic you. But yes we will. Because I love you. That's not a review. Just a factoid.

I wonder why this is one of my favourite works by you?????? *looks to the sky thoughtfully, grins*

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Hey AJ!
To start out, I agree with nativecatcher about "amazeballs." I realize it said "your words" and you may or may not be capturing what an actual someone said, but it sounds awkward.

The opening stanza is a little choppy, and the imagery and language isn't as strong as other parts of the poem. I think that might be because it's very vague--for instance, when you describe the tension, you only describe it as tension that has "existed before" but that doesn't really tell your audience much. In the same way "Just not in this form" doesn't tell us what form it has. I suppose I feel that if our senses had something to latch onto, if we could be made to feel and understand that tension, we would be drawn in more quickly.

"A million kisses bloom
Resulting from the realisation << spelling
That we can touch
As if we have conquered all"
These were some of my favorite lines, especially the alliteration in the second. These lines made me feel like there was more to this than romance...like they're trying to accomplish something, like there's a bigger picture.

"I have a feeling we will meet again
Sweet vanilla
The smell still strong as I go to sleep"
Vanilla is a pretty specific image. Maybe build on it more? Bring out it's full potential. "The smell still strong" is something I can relate to, and I can imagine, just from those words, because I know vanilla. What about people who don't understand how strong and how sweet that smell is? Personally, I can't get enough of it, and I think that's what you want to say...I think...but it's not all there yet.

"And then eventually the distance will cease
And we'll live together in peace"
It might be just me, but I didn't really like these lines, especially for the ending. They sound cheesy--not because there isn't honest sentiment there, but because of the way it's worded, and a little bit because of the rhyme. Ending with "we'll live together in peace" seemed a little off--there isn't really any conflict in the rest of the poem, so either there is conflict that the audience wasn't told about, or it's just that common phrase "live in peace" which just happens to rhyme with "cease." Either way the idea seems unrelated to the rest of the poem.

Overall I think there's a relatable theme. I like the potential of the "vanilla" imagery. I think it needs a little more unity, as a whole--the tension is unexplained, and then you move to the romance of it, and then there's separation...it seems a little scattered and I wasn't sure which aspect I was supposed to latch onto, or where any of it was going. Each thought seemed a little...half-formed. Just my thoughts, to take or leave. I enjoyed the read.

Hi!

So first off I want to say this was a nice poem. I usually don't read poetry but this resonated with me a bit. I liked the beginning but it I was a little confused. If they are kisssing (which I assume they are) are theur eyes really open or closed? Also in the 3rd stanza I think maybe you should use a word other than amazeballs. I only say this because it kind of threw off the flow of the poem for me because that line abruptly ended with amazeballs.
Other than that nice poem!