Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,870 Literary Works • 673,696 Reviews
Okay, all of these replies are ridiculous. We got the joke the first time. Lay it to rest. Please.
Don't be such a killjoy. This is hilarious dude! 567ajt is a legend... I mean this is him at the peak of his writing career man!
This is taking attention away from work that actually deserves it.
It's just a bit of fun. You're right... but I didn't know it would be this popular. LOL
Omg I am speechless! This work..gosh.. I dunno man. I LOVE IT. You just made me go blank. Wowww.
Buut I wanna point out that the title needs to be capitalized .
"Deleted because its Awful" Now doesn't that look much better?
Keep up the good work!
Okay, Chuck here for another review!!
I love the cleanly-ness of the page it is very attractive!
The plot is amazing and easy to follow! I love the characters and all the detail in the story!
Keep up the great work!
The whiteness of the page reminded me of winter and I love it!
Please do keep up this amazing work!
Okay, Chuck here for another review!!
I love the cleanly-ness of the page it is very attractive!
The plot is amazing and easy to follow! I love the characters and all the detail in the story!
Keep up the great work!
Hi Adam! Here to review.
Okay, so, first, remember! Whenever you start a sentence, you need a capital letter. And then you need a full stop to end it!
Also, in a work... you kind of need things to be written
This is the most amazing thing I have ever read! I love the way you let the reader interpret the meaning for themselves. It's literally a blank canvas and it really gives some audience artistic licence.
The characters are well formed, the title is interesting... but I do think you're too hard on yourself. This is my favourite work eva.
Rock on..
~Bloodink
(I have no idea what to call you so I'm going to call you 567)
567,
I actually have a thing for prologues. I like how they open the story up to readers, give them a sort of insight into what the book is going to be before they actually buy it or take the time to read it. It also gives them an insight into the reader's writing style.
Your prologue did all these things for me.
Personally, I don't really like sex stories. I tend to like more childish things, like Harry Potter (even though it contains LOADS of adult themes) but I'll try to be objective about this review.
I thought that the entire thing was a little forced, as though you were trying to get all this information out to people and it didn't feel natural. It felt stunted, as though I was reading a child's attempt at a diary.
At first, I thought this was what you were going for but then I read that the narrator is writing this many years after he was five, so I'm confused as to whether you actually want to come across as a child or not.
This is of no insult to your writing style, everyone has their own one and even mine isn't that great. I would just say work on it, try and see what you're aiming for and then begin to write.
Kasim.