Published February 22, 2014
Dear Reflection;
why do you do what you do?
Why do you put down people,
because they do not agree with you?
Or have musical tastes contrary to yours?
Different films, pieces of art, etc.?
(out of your own amusement I must add.)
Dear Reflection;
you repulse me with your hypocrisy.
You expect respect without giving any.
You are the enemy you seek to destroy:
a faker.
Your mask is wrapped tight and firm,
around your face.
Maybe if you took it off once in a while
and showed your true self,
then maybe- just maybe- you will meet new people.
You were yourself when you met Her.
When you feel deeply in love with Her.
Now replicate all of that with others.
Do it before it's too late;
before the façade mummifies your tears.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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140,763 Literary Works • 673,687 Reviews
Okay, Thomas here for a review!
From the start, I liked the epistolary nature of this piece. It's so addressing and wonderful. I always like to see epistolary form done well, and you did just that!
I loved your word choice. It's so powerful, without being overbearing. I think you did a good job of bringing the two together and making it sound so.. natural?
A few things, though.
1. I don't think the parenthetical after the first stanza was necessary. It really kind of stops the poem and takes away from the addressing of the mirror. You should maybe consider taking that out.
2. The punctuation and your use of semicolons is a bit much throughout this piece. Maybe ease up on the punctuation a little? It's really distracting when you're reading the poem.
Good job, dear! Keep up with the good work!
This is beautiful. Listen to what it says, there is nothing wrong with being yourself. You're a lovely writer. I bet many people can relate to this, I can. Keep writing.
Love this, it's really gutsy!
I'd tweak the "took" or "will" in the 3rd verse, because the switch from past tense to present tense is a little confusing, but I didn't catch anything else.
The best part for me was at the end; the visual of the mummified tears is great. Thanks for the read!