Tiny Murder Gangs

This is really nice, and I am glad to say I have never had experience in such matters.
The only thing I don't really agree with, and this is opinion only, is the total lack of punctuation. I realize several poems don't use punctuation, but I find they make up the subsequent lack of rhythm and structure with their line breaks and stanzas. But as a lyrics writer you have far less freedom in these ways.
Hope this helps,
Take That You Fiend!

Hey!

So YWS itself told meh I should review dis and I am noit one to argue so here we go.

'Everywhere I turn there is a gang
Who never move a muscle, always ready for a stand
They walk through smog
They walk on water '

I was gonna comment line by line, but I'm gonna go stanza by stanza. So... you open well. Obviously the everywhere gang thing is an exaggeration, but i like the way you portray their idea of violence. The smog and watetr thing reminds meh of dat song. But ya know, me likey.

'I live in impossible flats
Whose existence shall one day feel wrath
From tiny murder gangs who set up their camps
On the outskirts of this town
Ready to chuck us all out
Coz of what our families are up to
What they're doing
To increase moral credence by accident '

What are the impossible flats? I find the next line quite strange. And the next line reminds me more of the Nazis. Its a bit stereoytypical for them to live on da edge, so to speak, but opk. How they r goig t throw everyone out, i don't know, they must be very strong. What is credence????

'And they do it as a last resort
Coz there's nothing else to do
All that's left us all
In some deepest trouble
I don't wanna be in trouble '

The last resort thing I get. And you play on the boredom motive. CLevver. You really get some voice in here too, which creates emtpahty.

'Everytime I turn to God the gang is in the way
Conversion seems to be the only way
To eliminate this hunch, the monkey on my back
I am sympathetic to the cause of their cracks
And their spiralling mental health
Potato capitalists who are due their wealth
But we all know they won't get it '

why there is religion in here I don't understand, there is no relevance to the homies. Taling solves nothing here, fists do. Das irony. Michael Jackson had a monkey, byt why are there monkeys here??
I assume you're ot talking about bum cracks. LOL but ok. And you don't have to be mkental to be in a gang. Potatoes have political stances now? Whatatttt!

'I am beginning to see the error of my ways
For never giving these refugees a place a stay
Now they burst into my house, a rifle to my skull
One sudden twitch and my head will explode
So by force with an invisible rope
They tie my hands together and remove all hope
I initiate myself into the trouble and horror
I feel like I've just signed my own death warrant'

This is very violent, what this solves I don't know, but then I gurdd hst is the point of a gang. XD

'And I'm doing it as a last resort
Coz they told me to
And that will lead me
Into horrific troubles
I kinda like causing trouble '

This person has changed their mind then, they don't want to cause trouble now they do. Okay then. Go for it.