Published January 17, 2012
The young men,
they waste their youth,
to inhale;
to look special.
Times have changed.
Standards have dropped.
They're smoking;
to catch our eyes.
She has changed,
and wasting life-
to look "cool".
She wants to speak.
Lips are sealed.
No say in plans.
Follower,
lets things happen.
It all broke out
The names of these people
So vague in my mind
And where purity once was
Is now a blank empty space
Where my heart shined
The lights dim.
She has now changed.
Love is gone.
Not coming back.
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141,629 Literary Works • 675,281 Reviews
Hey Adam.
I'm here as requested, and like I already told you, this probably won't be very helpful. I have a suggestion, but that's really minor, so just ignore it, if you want. Overall, the poem was really good. I think, even to someone who doesn't know what this is related to, this poem would make a lot of sense. I like the beginning, but I don't exactly understand how it's related to the rest of the poem. Also:
You can drop the semi-colon there and replace it with a comma.
Besides that, I like your poem. The end felt really heavy and full of emotion for me.
^I'm lovin' that line.
That's all I have to say, really. Keep writing and good luck!
~HPR~