I asked you to hold my hand
On the way to the canteen
You shied away, opting for more
Aesthetically pleasing company
And I cry
The tears of a pathetic clown
I asked you to direct me
Towards the field to talk
But you went that ways away
I show I love you, you think that I stalk
And I cry
The tears of a pathetic clown
Do I have to cut my head off
To get a girlfriend around here?
Do I have to remove my face of zits
Just so I can get recognised here?
What should I do, who should I talk to?
What kind of friends should I hang out with?
I'm so lost and confused and lost and confused
And lost and confused
Kneeling by the lockers
Clinging onto the locks
(what happens next?)
And no one asks how I am
Kneeling by the lockers
Clinging onto the locks
(what happens next?)
And no one asks how I am
And I cry
The tears of a pathetic clown
Do I have to cut my head off
To get a girlfriend around here?
Do I have to remove my face of zits
Just so I can get recognised here?
What should I do, who should I talk to?
What kind of friends should I hang out with?
I'm so lost and confused and lost and confused
And lost and confused
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Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Wow....
Hello, happy review day! Laure the icicle here for a review! This is. Without doubt the best title relating poem ever. I love how you every line in your poem relates back to the title, Tears of a Pathetic Clown. I love how you used pathetic clown, because really that is as worst as it can get. And also, the blunt reality of this poem, the rawness that makes this poem so powerful.
I love the repetition of this stanza, it really reinforces the main message here. In fact, your whole poem sounds like a cross between a song and a poem, I couldn't call it lyrical because it isn't. But I love the rhythm and the emotions displayed here, wonderful poem!
Have a good day!
-Laure
This was so sad.
A pathetic clown is depressing, and it really is a great symbol to choose for this poem.
This stanza pretty much tells the whole story, though you do a good job of expounding on it throughout the rest of the poem. Instantly I understand that the 'writer' is being rejected because of how the look. Not entirely in a physical sense, as people judge by more than that, but it's easy to understand the message.
I couldn't agree more with this part, as it's happened to me before. Because people are so quick to judge, they write something off for what it isn't.
I can sense the emotion behind this poem, but it gets a little repetitive. Kind of like a modern pop song where they wanted to make it longer but just didn't have the brains to come up with anything else. Not saying that's what you've done, but that's how it feels. In poetry, I look for flow, and when I read the same thing two times, it starts to get old, after three times, it takes all of my interest away. Just something to think about.
Thank you 567ajt!