Redecoration

I laughed at and love how the last stanza connects to your whole work.

How would the music for this lyrics go though? Would it be one of those acoustic ukelele kind?

Greetings! As I always say, lyrics are so damn hard to review because they lack one thing... and that's music. Lyrics without music are like a sandwich without bread, so I guess I'll try to review your words, no matter what melody you hold in that head.

I get the point of "redecorating" someone/something. My first impression was that this song should be about something that covers art today, such as popular or mainstream. I love the rhythm and flowing through your lines, but there's this one stanza that bothers me:

"Needs to look real nice
If it will be noticed
Aesthetic over substance to impress the niche
Let them feel like they can change the art
And not the artists
How does it feel to gain and lose control at the same time? "

As I said before, I get the point, but the rhythm breaks down while I'm reading it after two almost perfect stanzas. I suggest you to change it, to shape it like a real stanza, but don't listen to me if you have some another breakdown or rhythm change in your song. The most perfect melody and rhythm should be in your head. This was just my impression and comment on those words, not music.

I hope you'll become a good songwriter in the future, and we should cooperate sometimes... mother Earth needs us. Farewell!

~Bard

Heggo again.

So this piece is one big allegory. Which I like, because it varies from your usual style. Clearly, you still have a strong message here, but you are being a lot more subtle about revealing it.


In need of renovation - you dive immediately into your mysterious subject, good.
In such dire straights - now you are highlighting there is an issue but not revealing it immediately.
Needs some good regenerations - this is kind of like the first line, but you are still being so darn mysterious. XD
Something worthy to replace - I am intrigued by this, because if my inclination is correct, then in realistic terms I would love to know what you are going to replace it with.

Paint the top
Paint the sides
Paint the bottom - This is kind of cliché but it works. I would have changed the word paint each time to make it a bit more varied and suggest there is more than one way to make changes, as opposed to sticking to a singular idea.
And see what it'll become - there is seemingly no control over what is happening here which is very strange for you. Considering you comment on control systems quite a lot and this time, you're almost choosing not to.
Redecoration - eponymous word, hmmm... reminds me of Xmas. Strange choice. Not necessarily subtle, just a bit... weak.

Needs to look real nice - this line is so out of place and the colloquialisms are a bit odd too. I'm not sure whether I would have used this style of language in this piece. It makes the work underestimate itself because it is being too casual.
If it will be noticed - some sort of voice starts to be appearing again here.
Aesthetic over substance to impress the niche - definitely established by this line. My favourite line of the piece, because you are hitting the core of the subject.
Let them feel like they can change the art - and here, you are almost screaming what you are talking about. Anyone who has done their background on the creator will know which art you are referring to.
And not the artists - in reference to this, I would actually say it is the artists are the ones who need changing. But different folks different strokes.
How does it feel to gain and lose control at the same time? - I said before I like the use of rhetorical questions. And I do, especially here. XD It's very paradoxical and it makes the reader think. Me likey.

Come on, redecoration
Come on, redecoration - the repetition sounds like you are egging the reader on to provoke some sort of response and I can imagine this being the sort of response you would want to achieve. Again though, I'm not sure about the use of redecoration. I am still thinking of a Xmas tree. XD

Come on
Paint the top
Paint the sides
Paint the bottom
And see what it'll become
Increased eye
Increased eye candy

Increased eye
Increased eye candy - I like the repetition here, and the term 'eye candy' is very modern and relates well to your theme.

Lame ending to the review, I know, I'm sorry. I got distracted by some puurddy blue eyes and a handsome face. So in summary, I think this work could definitely be elaborated on, without giving too much away. I appreciate what you've tried to do here, but your style is characterised by its visceral, graphic imagery and language.
This piece lacks that.

Still well written, just sounds like it came from a different mind.

Love and cuddles

Me

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