Chairs

Wow! This piece really got me, it has a lot of emotion in it and I can definitely feel that. My favorite line is what seemed to be the chorus: "This is what you deserve/For the memories, yeah the memories/This is what you deserve/Stuck in a million chairs". It really stuck with me and had the best rhythm out of anything in the entire song.
The only part that I had some trouble with was the lines: "You better hurry up/Hurry up or the force will be blunt". The repetition of "hurry up" confused me and I had to do a double-take, but maybe that'll sound better when it's put to music.
Overall, this is a very well-done piece. Thank you so much for writing.

Hi 567ajt!

Well, this song is really great and a lot of pieces drew me in, but I like this one the most ;

Your startling excuses for escape:
"I didn't mean you no harm"
Double negative implies positive

I first stared at it hard, thinking it was error ('Wait, doesn't didn't mean you no harm mean that he does mean harm.. wait.. uh.. uhhh.... gah!') but the next line gave me the answer, or so I think ; double negative (didn't and no) implies positive (does mean harm?) Yes, I might be an idiot. But I really like this, and this is a bit dark.. which I absolutely love.

I have replaced you as the king of the world
I have replaced you as the king of the world
I have replaced you as the king of the world
I have replaced you as the king of the world
I have replaced you as the king of the world
I have replaced you as the king of the world
I have replaced you as the king of the world
I have replaced you as the king of the world

In this section, you might want to reduce the number of the sentences a bit more.. maybe one or two.. because that seems like a lot. But I've never really heard it in play, and I could be wrong ; it could sound really great. But anyways.. great job! You are REALLY talented, and I'm not saying this to make you feel good.

Thanks, and keep on writing, mephis

This is great, and the description "torture for dummies" really draws the reader in. I do feel that a little more clarity would be welcome; I understood all of it but just to clear things up a little. Did tou have trouble finding the last line? I thought several of the lines were eligible for the title of last, so it must have been hard to choose.
Hope this helps,
TTYF!

Hey, lastsilverh3r0 here to review you!
I would like to say that this is quite the song you have here. I read it in a kind of angry rock-style tune, though I'm not sure if that's what you meant it to be. I think that it has a lot of potential, and I see the idea that you're getting at here. But the only thing I would say is that it is quite repetitive, and I know that most of it is for effect, and that's understandable. But areas where you say "chair" over and over starts to get a little annoying to be completely honest. And the part where you wrote "I have replaced you as the king of the world." Now I know that you were probably intending it to be said over and over for a small period of time, but it's kind of distracting when read like that. Maybe putting perenthesis around it and putting a "x8" would be a little easier on the eyes for some. Plus, it seems like you had something there that didn't really connect to the story. I felt like maybe you could expand on that part. But I do believe that it was a good read, and thank you for uploading it!