Published December 31, 2013
I wanna paint a seat rouge
To impress our guests
(But they have yet to arrive!)
(And lately they've been depressed!)
I'd love to give them a gift
Show them what I really mean
(But they lack the means to care!)
(To have empathy!)
I wanna paint a seat rouge
The king would love his new throne
I wanna paint a seat rouge
The guests will be smiling
I'll get myself a medal
The naysayers writhing
My star sign will soar
Which will help out my timing
My cult's only rising
My cult's only rising
My cult's only rising
MY CULT'S ONLY RISING!
A seat remains rouge
A seat rouge
A pleasurable rouge
Caped in invisible drobes
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139,599 Literary Works • 672,615 Reviews
This, to me, seems rather unique.
While reading, i knd of came up with my own beat to it, and it seemed to stay consistant throughout the entire poem.
It's very creative, and the title captured my attention.
I thought you did an amazing job on this!
Keep it up
its creative but with out music it kind trips me. i like the use use of words and staying kind of on topic. so good overall
Hello 567ajt!
Although I can't really critic you on the whole work itself (because I don't have a tune and/or instruments to help me along.) The words, however, are really impressive. I like how the words aren't simple words. I like how you have to think about them and work a meaning into the whole song with those words. I really hope that made some sort of sense to you, if not, I'm really sorry.
I also like how the message of the song isn't flat out told to you either. I feel like it's one of those songs that can be taken more ways than one. If that's what you were going for, you did a really good job at it.
In my own opinion, I believe that the message of the song is that someone is rebelling against someone that is so high in power. And painting the seat rouge creates some kind of terror that enough is enough. I don't know if that's what you had in mind, but that's what I have gotten out of the lyrics.
Now it's down to the critiquing. The only thing that I can find not right with this, is the very last word. "Drobes." I don't know if you meant to put that there or not, but I had no idea what it was so I looked it up and couldn't find it! I wish I knew what it was. The last word is always the best part of a song for me. Other than that though I don't think there is anything that I can critique you on. It's already so perfect, I feel, that it can't really do any better. I like it a lot, and if it were a song that I came across one day, I can see myself listening to it over and over. It has a vibe that it would be catchy, and I like that.
Overall: You did a really good job! I really feel like this is a song that I would listen to sometime if I ever came across it.
-Emily