Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.
You’ll only be killing a man
In the middle of an aborted escape plan
Fixated on the palm of his hands
And whipping himself so that he can no longer stand
But overtime words of his deeds will become a fire starter
After all those who want blood also crave a new martyr
Time is nigh when moral credence leads to intifada
Time is nigh when new heroes become our new fathers
Running low on saviours and knights
Who will be the new leader of a new fight?
We don’t know where and when we start division
All we know is idealists and realists will be partitioned
But overtime words of his deeds will become a fire starter
After all those who want blood also crave a new martyr
Time is nigh when moral credence leads to intifada
Time is nigh when new heroes become our new fathers
Been dying too many times
Now it must end
In our hands
In our hands
But overtime words of his deeds will become a fire starter
After all those who want blood also crave a new martyr
Time is nigh when moral credence leads to intifada
Time is nigh when new heroes become our new fathers
All we do is kill the time
Sitting in this cave making rhyme after rhyme
But overtime words of his deeds will become a fire starter
After all those who want blood also crave a new martyr
Time is nigh when moral credence leads to intifada
Time is nigh when new heroes become our new fathers
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Heyo again
And it communicates well between the premise of your title and the ideas you convey throughout the work.
I owe you another review, so here we go.
I lovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvve this. Especially when you read it aloud to me and it sounded soooo good.
'Been dying too many times
Now it must end
In our hands
In our hands'
This is my favourite part because it works as kind of a topic sentence.
As always, you are focused and dedicated to your topic, which is also very intense.
The way you wrote:
'Time is nigh when moral credence leads to intifada', sounds like something from a history book and is also very professional.
The absence of punctuation has become part of your signature style, so I won't comment on why it isn't there anymore. In fact, I have come to love it, because it's part of what you do and also because it doesn't hinder the reading process.
I luuuurve this one. It's a really strong piece. And another one of your best.
-huggles-
O.O One against all. shat this hits the nail on the head. Was I led to this by some divine force? *looks up* I be an idealist
Interesting ideas about new leaders. I think this is a very good poem, although I would change some things. For example, I think you repeated lines too many times. If you want to do that make those lines into separate stanzas from everything else. also, I didn't really meant what you meant by the fire started. Real fire, or moral fire, or fire in the hearts of men. That left me unsure. But overall very good!
nice
Did you write these yourself? If so they are wonderful! I can just picture a post apocalyptic world taking over with one man attempting to rise above it all. I hope this was at least close to the visual you craved.... I really like the two lines in the chorus : "But overtime words of his deeds will become a fire starter, after all those who want blood also crave a new martyr." It speaks wholly of human character. Great job!!
If you didn't write it (which I'm guessing you did by lack of the ensuing components) you should add the title and the lyricist.
Either way you should add a title!