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give your love time to grow

by Arcticus

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36 Reviews

Points: 260
Reviews: 36

Tue Sep 04, 2018 7:59 pm
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LadyAstella says...

This is Lady Astella with a review

This poem is astounding!
The emotion, feeling.
You have a way with words.
I encourage you to keep writing.
You have an amazing power!
If you channel those feelings you have inside and use them for good you could do some amazing things, and you could go to amazing places.
This has been another review from Lady Astella.

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475 Reviews

Points: 1461
Reviews: 475

Tue Sep 04, 2018 11:40 am
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Apricity says...

this is lovely <3 man I've missed your poetry

Arcticus says...

I've missed you too, woman

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30 Reviews

Points: 1798
Reviews: 30

Mon Sep 03, 2018 9:45 am
WritingPrincess says...

Stupid computer submitted it twice! Sorry about that!

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30 Reviews

Points: 1798
Reviews: 30

Mon Sep 03, 2018 9:44 am
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WritingPrincess wrote a review...

Hello! I’ve come to review this.

First of all, I’d like to say that this is a really beautiful poem. It has stronge words, a lovely format and a great rhyming scheme. You have the right to listen to none of what I’m saying.

Although the rhyming scheme is very nice, I feel like some of the words became forced because of it. For example, there are some lines where it feels like you have chopped off the final word to make the rhymes work. I’m sure you didn’t do that, but that’s what it seems like.

The last two stanzas are my favourites. I find them really beautiful and moving.

Overall, this is an amazing poem. It nearly made me cry.

I hope this helped, and keep writing amazing poetry!

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1238 Reviews

Points: 35807
Reviews: 1238

Sun Sep 02, 2018 6:46 pm
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niteowl wrote a review...

Hi Arcticus! Niteowl here to review this lovely poem.

Overall, this is stellar. The imagery is beautiful, the message is strong, and the rhyme is subtle but nice. My critiques are largely nitpicks.

"pluck the gardenias from its fingertips first"-this sounds lovely, but also weirdly destructive? Like if I want my love to grow why would I pick flowers out of it? I know pruning is important to growing plants in general, but not plucking flowers. There might also be some symbolism to the gardenias that I'm missing here. from this page I got that they smell really sweet but that they turn yellow quickly. I'm not sure you meant either of those connotations or something else?

"don't pluck from the bough unripe"

This line sounds awkward to me, but I don't know why. I want to offer suggestions, but I am sadly coming up short.

The last stanza-omg this is my favorite. It's so beautiful I want to cry.

Overall, this is a lovely poem and I wish I could be more helpful. Great job and keep writing! :D

Arcticus says...

Thanks for your feedback, nite!

I think 'pick' was the word I meant to use instead of 'pluck' (with gardenias). Pick sounds better, makes more sense. I don't know why I used 'pluck'. I'll fix that.

Secondly, I'm well aware that I risk sounding cringey and awkward with certain expressions I use in my poems. Sometimes these expressions work and sound beautiful in their simplicity. But sometimes they come off as weird. So I wouldn't blame you for finding it awkward. But these are the risks of writing with pure and unrestrained sentimentality %u2014 something that I'm still learning how to pull off successfully.

Thanks again for your review and suggestions!

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8 Reviews

Points: 418
Reviews: 8

Sun Sep 02, 2018 12:48 pm
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Dani965 wrote a review...

Hi, I'm here to do a review!

I really like this. It shows that you shouldn't rush into something and that you should wait and let it slowly progress (Flowers take time to grow but always look beautiful when they've flourished).

"let it go where it might" - you cannot force something or someone to do something for you if they do not want to do it, you have to gain their trust and show them that they are safe around you.

"test the waters of the winter first" - don't dive in because it might not go the way you want it to (in this case the water won't be as warm as you want it to be). For example, if you do not give love time to grow and get straight into it, it may not work out or it may deteriorate because you haven't put enough thought and time into what is happening/what will happen in the future.

"Wait for springtime" - wait for your love for each other flourish rather than rushing it and risk losing the spark.

"let it take you slowly" - let it guide you so you don't rush into anything.

Also, I'm not sure if it was intended or not, but the line length in your poem looks similar to the pattern on a heart monitor, and as a heart represents love, could it link in to the theme of the poem perhaps?

One thing about this poem is that I struggle to understand what some of the words in this poem mean. So, if you intend on having a young audience for your poem I suggest maybe changing a few words or maybe putting in another section (a word bank?) with the meanings of some more difficult words that are in the poem.

I was never insane except upon occasions when my heart was touched.
— Edgar Allan Poe