Pain

Hey there!

Your poem is awesome. Dramatic, great words...

If I am not wrong, the whole poem is about how pain hurts you, right?

I think you said that pain hurts us but we need the strength to overcome it, right?

Your poem had a lot of emotions. I liked the line "My mind creates her death". It was a creative idea!

On the whole, your poem was great and creative!

Hope to hear more from you! keep it up!

This is gorgeous, truly, and just the kind of poetry I like. I love how it's conveying emotion, and plot isn't as important. It focuses more on one moment, and fully fleshes it out.

Your use of repetition is stellar. It really focuses on impact, and is used only when necessary, not just randomly thrown in there like it can be in other works. I love how the things that are usually connotated negatively(to end, no one) are the things that are repeated, and that also creates mood in a beautiful way by helping the reader to understand truly how the narrator feels.

The little glimmer of hope offered by the last stanza is just enough, and it helps to alleviate the heaviness of the poem by lightening a bit. Overall, great job!

I can relate stanza four with someone who hurt me before too. The last lines of stanzas five and six are really interesting because it gives the insight that the speaker has people who rely on them, and gives an example of how people can bury their problems to benefit others, even though it sounds like what the speaker really needs is to find a better way to cope with whatever was done. It's interesting that you leave out the offense because it leaves the reader wondering if what happened really justifies the level of revenge the speaker wants.

An interesting read!

Hi, It's Sandman here.

So I relate to this poem because I understand psychological pain and frustration with revenge as a possibility that you're considering. In this poem, you describe so much pain over what someone else said or did which may or may not be justified but I'm sure it is. I can't say that there is really anything wrong with the poem. Overall it's a great poem and I like it. My favorite line is "Must be the strength everyone needs." because it holds so much power especially as an ending to a poem. Overall this poem is well written and this pain is true. Keep writing

Radrook here for a review and to offer helpful suggestions.

Thanks for sharing this poem concerning the intense sense of psychological pain being experienced because of what someone referred to as Little Lyn did. Please note that since the details of exactly what Little Lyn did aren't revealed, I can't really say whether the feelings expressed are justified or not.

However, I do identify with the frustration and the anger and the feeling of a need for revenge as well as the wish that all the pain would end, and the appreciation for comfort that silence can bring. So in that sense the poem did strike a common chord and elicited empathy.

My favorite line of the poem is

I must stay!