Strangers

Wonderful! Realistic and stark! I'd say you've gotten the hang of it! Great promise too!

Now, let's review...

There is no structure! A poetic piece must be separated into stanzas!

Here:

When you think you have a great friend
That realization will soon end
Through desparate times
You will come to find
The vibe they once had
Is gone
And you're standing there
Left with nothing but the shadow of none.

It's times like this
When you stumble upon the reality
And the fantasy is gone
I've been there for you through thick and thin
And have helped you through the storm.

I'm sitting here
With lonely tears
Wondering where has my old friend gone?

Seconds and minutes seem like years
And here the ghost of the past whispers in you're ear
Of what was once you're life.

It's funny how I have always been behind you're back
But now I lack
The person who was the other half.

Now it seems so clear
That happiness and love feels so far from near.

I open up my eyes to find inside the truth in life that has made a way into mine
And it's those differences that have made you and I
Strangers just walking by for the first time.

There, the structure makes it a bit more beautiful to the eye, doesn't it?

Now, lets review, stanza by stanza.


When you think you have a great friend
That realization will soon end
Through desparate times
You will come to find
The vibe they once had
Is gone
And you're standing there
Left with nothing but the shadow of none.

I think it's a good message you're giving to the young and gullible out there, good use of imagery, no errors as far as I can see.


It's times like this
When you stumble upon the reality
And the fantasy is gone
I've been there for you through thick and thin
And have helped you through the storm.

The first 3 lines, when joined to the last 2 lines, don't fit. (That may be a mistake on my part, regrettably!) But, otherwise,


I'm sitting here
With lonely tears
Wondering where has my old friend gone?

Seconds and minutes seem like years
And here the ghost of the past whispers in you're ear
Of what was once you're life.

It's funny how I have always been behind you're back
But now I lack
The person who was the other half.

Very good imagery and you appealed very well to the reader's senses. And emotions too.They practically flow out like a river of tears.

Now it seems so clear
That happiness and love feels so far from near.

I open up my eyes to find inside the truth in life that has made a way into mine
And it's those differences that have made you and I
Strangers just walking by for the first time.

Very sad, but true ending! Beautiful! !!

Your piece was touching and I commend you! Keep writing!