Confessions Of A Confused Mind.

All this time I had taken refuge in smiling. But now it seemed far-fetched. Too many things had happened. Oftentimes my fragile heart was left broken, and not because it had been in love. It was because my heart had far too many expectations. It all began when a million sperm raced to be the “one”. Sadly I was the fastest. Being born into a family of wealth “I was lucky” some might say. While I say it’s one’s biggest nightmare.
I have three siblings: two elder brothers and an elder sister. 
It appeared as if my life were right out of a fairytale, but only I was aware of the depths.
For most, every problem came with a solution. For me, every solution came with a person.
I’m certain that what I say might seem mind boggling, but it is the absolute truth.
~~~~~~~~~~~x~~~~x~~~~x~~~~x~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My great aunt “Eve Eden” was one of the most famous dream analysts in the world – not that I’m saying I am one, too.
But I do wish she was here; at least then she could interpret my dreams.
At first I thought that my dreams were just a way to escape from reality. But now I’m certain that I have no idea about what the hell is going on.
I’m utterly confused. If only Aunt was here she could tell me about this person who has been visiting me a lot lately.
I doubt anyone would believe me about this enigmatic person’s story. But hey, it was worth a shot!
And what did my parents do about it? They did the obvious: they sent me to a shrink.
Not just any shrink; the best there is in town.
Ah! Even his name would give me goose bumps.
His name was “C.A. McArthur” and June 12th was my first session with him. 
I knocked on the door and I was met with eerie silence. I knocked several more times and received no response. As I was attempting it for the last try, a cold hand touched my shoulder, and upon turning around, I was greeted with two freaky looking crimson eyes. (Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating.) 
After a few moments of glaring, ‘it’ spoke. 
“You are late.”
I closed my eyes as I was awaiting my ultimate doom, but I wondered to myself, “Did I hear ‘it’ right?”
Still afraid to lock eyes with this creature I looked towards the floor and asked, “What did you just say?”
“You are late,” said the creature in return.
“It speaks,” I thought to myself.
“Come tomorrow,” said the creature. “You are disturbing my other patients.”
I let out a sigh in disappointment. But on the inside I was throwing a huge party where the creature was not invited. 
I walked out of the clinic without looking at the creature, since I figured the floor was the only thing worth looking at there.
That night I was really looking forwards to meet my friend. Yes! The enigmatic person had somehow now turned into a friend.
“It has been a while,” said my friend.
“You kidding me?!” I exclaimed. “We met yesterday!”
He smiled at me and said, “Indeed! I was just checking to see if I landed at the right address.”
“How hard is it?” I asked curiously. “Finding my head, I mean.”
“Very,” he answered. “It is, after all, the size of a pea.”
If only I could beat the hell out of this sarcastic knucklehead. But in spite of all his arrogance I felt secure around him.
As I narrated my entire day’s progress with him, I could feel his gaze at me.
Amidst of all the information sharing, I asked him a question.
“When do I get to actually see you?”
His calmness disappeared. Not that I could see it, but I had known him so long that I could sense the change.
After a long silence everything went dark and all I could hear was a faint, “wake up… wake up…” 
I jerked up from the bed abruptly, hitting Martha’s head with mine. In all the confusion Martha dropped the food tray on me.
I would have been glad had there been only food on there but no, she had to bring the hot coffee with it. What could I do next? Like most normal people I screamed like maniac on fire. Exaggerating you think? Hot coffee equals a maniac on fire.
Finally the effect of the hot coffee had worn out, but my skin was still red and I could sense a slight burning sensation on my skin.
I got up from my bed and stalked off to the bathroom, ignoring everything Martha had said.
Ah, the bathroom; the one place in the world I could stay all by myself and think.
I turned on the hot water tap and added bubbles to my bath.
…What? I like bubbles.
As I undressed myself I kept replaying the events of last night. I gently slipped into the bath and wandered off into my thoughts. The water’s warmth slowly pulled me into a sweet slumber.
I suddenly woke up from my sleep when I heard a loud knocking on the door. It was my mother; apparently she wanted me to “get my ass out off that bathtub.”
I sighed to myself.
“Can’t a girl have nice warm bath around here anymore?” I muttered under my breath.
I wrapped the bathrobe around myself and unlocked the door. I looked at my mother; she looked as if she had just come back from a war.
“Do you know what time it is?” she said cutting me off from my train of thoughts.
“Huh! What?” 
“You forgot again, didn’t you?” she said and hit her hand on her forehead. “What am I going to do with you Vanya Van Kroft?”
Oh no! She used my full name, she’s definitely pissed and I’m in big trouble.
“You’re going to miss your appointment again!” she said, and headed for the door. Just as she was about to go out she turned back towards me and said “Now get that sorry ass of yours ready and get going. I’ll punish you later!”
Annabel, also known as Annie, was my stepmother. Dad had married her fifteen years ago. My real mother Joanne, also known as Anne, died a few months after giving birth to me. She was diagnosed with cancer a month after she had given birth to me. Her cancer had been in a very advanced stage and she refused to be treated for it, insisting that she wanted to spend her last days with her family. She did not want to torture any of us or herself with treatment.
I was too young back then but I can surely remember one thing she always told me: “I came in this world smiling and I shall leave this world smiling.” She would hold me close to her and say, “You are special my darling, don’t ever let anyone tell you any different. Annabel was mum’s best friend. She took care of everyone in the house. After mum’s death, dad was shattered and Annabel was there for him. Their feelings gradually blossomed into love but neither of them married. They waited till I was old enough. When I turned 4, dad asked me, if I liked Annie, because she was going to be our new mommy. I was more than ecstatic. I remember shouting “Yay!” and I ran up to Annie and hugged her. 
Sometimes I wonder what mum and dad shared cannot be replaced with Annie’s presence. But I was wrong. They were still madly in love with each other. 
L-O-V-E: Love; I highly doubt the chances of that happening to me.
“Aren’t you dressed yet Miss?” Martha called from behind.
Martha is our house maid. She has been with the family from time immemorial. She is 57 years old. I have never met anyone as calm and understanding as Martha. Precisely why I love her. Yes I used love! I strongly reckon she is worth it.
“Yes!” I said turning towards her with a bright smile.
Martha looked at me and smiled. She came closer and whispered, “Miss! You are still wearing your pajamas.” 
I let out an annoyed sigh. Martha couldn’t hold in her amusement and let out a laugh at my expense.
I stomped into the changing room and put on a pair of black jeans to go with my blue tank top. I hurried out. Martha was startled at my speed. I raced down the flight of stairs and rushed out the main door. I grabbed my bicycle and hurried off. Just as I was heading out the main gate I shouted, “I’m going.”
I reached the clinic and walked in with full speed. The female at the reception looked at her watch and then looked at me. 
“On time,” she praised.
I was dehydrated after so much cycling; I looked around for water and didn’t find anything. When my eyes caught sight of a flower vase, I subsequently pulled out the flowers and drank up. I gulped down all of the water, put down the vase and settled the flowers back into place. I turned around and I met ‘its’ eyes. ‘It’ looked at me in confusion then said, “Dear Lord! You really are crazy!” and burst out into laughter.
It was the first time I saw ‘him’ clearly. He was tall, with a tan complexion; his hair was cropped, black in color. In all ways he seemed ‘perfect’.
He stopped laughing, looked at his watch and looked at me.
“On time!” he exclaimed.
His eye color was brown. Just plain chocolate brown in color. Despite the simple look I could tell his eyes held a deep secret.
He asked me to follow him to his room, and I quietly complied.
I entered the room, it was quite spacious. There were two windows on the right side of the room. While on the left side were some photographs and fancy degrees he had gained over the years. There was a huge recliner on either sides of the room and a glass table with a bowl full of skittles in it.
“Have a seat,” he said. I quietly obeyed him and sat down. He turned around to get some files, while I kept eyeing the skittles in the bowl. He turned around without any warning and caught me looking at the skittles. He smiled gently and passed the bowl over to me. “Help yourself.”
My eyes gleamed a shade of silver and I smiled at him and said “Thank you”. I picked up a handful of skittles and gobbled them all at once.
He chuckled at the sight of a skittle eating monster. I looked down in embarrassment; my cheeks were swollen as I had stuffed so many skittles all at once. I quickly swallowed them down and tried meeting his eyes, even though I had embarrassed myself thoroughly.
“Hmm…You must really like skittles!” he said with a smile. “It just means I’m going to have to ask Amy to get more next time.”
“Amy,” I wondered. “Yeah, maybe the receptionist.”
“There is nothing wrong with me, Sir.” I said all too abruptly.
“Sir?!” he asked in confusion. “Exactly how old do you think I am?”
I just defended myself pleading not guilty and here he is, worried about his age. What an ass, I thought.
I looked at him with a blank expression. Obviously I had no idea of what he was talking of.
“I’m only 22,” he said smiling.
I was taken aback. He probably could tell by the expression on my face that I was startled.
Before he could go on and explain I cut him short.
“When did you go to college? How’d you get so many degrees?” I raised my hand to my chin and shouted, “Aha! You are a quack!” I was not going to sit here any longer and be told I was crazy, by some fake Doctor.
So I sprung up and stomped out the door. I took my cycle keys out and headed out the door. I rode back and on the way stopped at the ice cream parlor. I ordered my favorite ‘black current’ ice cream. I quickly finished it, got on my cycle and headed home. After a few minutes I reached home. 
At the door there was a guest waiting for me. It was ‘Shadow’ my jet black Labrador retriever. He had gone for his monthly checkup to the vet. I squealed in excitement. I dropped my cycle on the ground and ran up to him. He wagged his tail and licked me all over. 
I didn’t care if he drooled all over my clothes or my hand. I didn’t care if my hair was drenched with his slobber. 
“I was just happy that my baby was back.”

~~~~~~~~~~ The End ~~~~~~~~~~