Nothing

I think you should break this up into a line form, instead of a paragraph form-that type of structure just seems to make it longer and harder to stay with, whether it's by Homer the Greek or Homer Simpson, I think that if it is lines than it will be easier to focus on the words and not loosing your place in the poem among all the lines.
It will also seem shorter. God bless.

I agree with the lovely reviewer before me about it being too long when it's so heavy. Also on that note, due to the heavy nature of this poem I can imagine this sounding great if performed, very passionate and raw.

"The world will pick you apart, one petal at a time. She asked me if she’d ever love again. She said she would die alone. I replied that we all die alone, trapped within our own bodies, we’re born alone, we live alone, we exit the wayward stage alone, we love, wholeheartedly but terrifically alone. She said he’d make her feel less alone and she couldn’t bear it."

This is my favourite part, don't ever change it I love how you've written it quite matter-of-fact but still managed to make it poignant for the reader. A wonderful observation & you've portrayed it perfectly. & the part about the petals... wow, great image!

I definitely think the poem in general should be shorter.

Keep up the good work

A little too long to be so heavy, but I like it, even though I don't really know what is going on.
Sometimes you say "I" and other times you say "he" and "she" maybe it just went over my head?