Tribeless

Oh, dear Anniee I understand the source of you energy that flows through this rhymes. It gets complicated sometimes, but this shows us and teaches the meaning of life - if we can see it during the everyday's gray life.

I liked the way you rhyme, simple and plain ^_^

OF course sometimes we want others to do things for us, or just take the responsibility that belong to us.

Sometimes we just want to hit the switch button - and feel free. "unnoticed, unnoticeable".

But if we just think of our own way and don't care much about "losers, moaners, weepers, sweeprs" - life would get much better. But it hurts when our loved ones are those we feel pitty for.

Amazing, Annii.

I really like this. You don't often write poetry? I wouldn't have guessed. The only thing is why is We in bold? I don't know. And also something about the could've been men I, I think it needs something to hold it together, does the could've-been men seem right? I'm not sure. Anyways it's good.

I liked it, the poem had a meaningful message. The rhythm was rather singsongy and the last line is brilliant. I loved the;

'The losers, The moaners,
The weepers, The sweepers,
The bin men, the could’ve been men.'

Overall, a well written poem (indeed you have), just make the title more realted to the actual poem.

~Megan~

Well it certainly looks like a poem, and not bad for the first attempt. I especially like the last stanza, odd capitalization aside.

Some ideas for improvement: The first stanza's last line is confusing. Do "we" not want to be noticed, or do others not want to notice them? Also, was the bolded "We" intentional? If so, I don't see the point. Also, I don't like the second stanza much. The rhyme seems a little Dr. Seuss-y, and it's unclear who "You crafty fox" is referring to.

That said, I like the ending, and it's a good idea for a poem. If you keep up with poetry, try to think about using more concrete imagery. You definitely have potential. Keep writing!

<(^_^)> Why yes, you most certainly did write a poem!

You should probably figure out what it's about, though.
Could really use a better title, but that's just my opinion.
It is a very deep, and a poem that has a lost of feelings in it.
What I got out of this... was an outcast in school (a group of outcasts)
Maybe form your title/description around that.