Floral Rainbow
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You have my heart,
For I love you.
Daisies are white,
Heather is pink,
Without you here,
My heart will sink,
Foxgloves are mauve,
Sage is purple,
With you hard things
Seem so simple.
A floral rainbow is my life,
With you I’ve buried all my strife.
I tried to take the classical 'Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you!' valentine poem and change and continue it with 4 syllables in each line.
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Canary word: Present
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125,006 Literary Works • 672,809 Reviews
Good title Suckish poem. I know what your poems lack. Originality. Try to write a poem by yourself from now on.
Stay away from the love theme.
The title really caught my eye. Then I read it. Inspiring! I don't really have anything to criticize about this poem, so this will be all!
PM me for some heavy critiques!
winie
I thought the last part was still a part of it and went "WTF?"
haha, but seriously...
Your take on the whole roses are red thing was interesting and I liked how you eventually strayed from flowers to more animate objects and things, it transitioned well... untill the end.
It looked and sounded tossed in, which I think it was, nothing a re-phrasing couldnt fix!!
Hope it helps!
Exe's and Oh's, Era
I sort of agree with kimithy. There are lots of poems like this out there.That said,I enjoyed this one. It's fine if you "copied" those first lines, I mean, it's not like they're copyright or anything. And that was the whole point of your poem.
I thought this was a nice little rendition. My only suggestions are that you not rhyme "purple" and "simple", because they don't really work together, and to add to the last two lines. That way your meter isn't awkward. Nice work overall.
--Dreamy
all together this is a good poem i like it.
but what i dont like is how you have copyied
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You have my heart,
For I love you.
the rest of the poem is great but i'm affraid that there are many versions of this poem like yours sorry. people like fresh new things not old and re newed there is too much.
like they say out with the old in with the new.
good job xoxo