Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Novel / Chapter » Romantic

Memohirs of a brokenheart Chapter Three

by AngelBaby88

Chapter three

As soon as I got home I made a mad dash to my room to clean up, just in case he wanted to come up to my room for a few minutes. I started putting up the cloths I had discarded after trying them all this morning and anything that men werent supposed to see.

"What the hell are you doing?" I jumped at the sound of Jacobs voice, he walked into the room.

"I was just cleaning."

He interupted me, "You mean hiding stuff."

My face began to burn as I said no, I could tell he was about to laugh but he changed the subject.

"Cool poster." he said observing my Disturbed poster which was at least six feet long ways, that poster was my baby.

"Its all right." I said keeping my cool and laughing. I sat down on the edge of my bed and took my combat boots off.

"So wheres my brother?"

"Hes taking a shower, so im going to talk to you."

I took a bite of my burger that I had brought up with me and some of the tomato fell on my lap.

Jacob laughed and picked it up for me, "Its still edibtle."

"Is that girl your girlfriend. I mean from the bus."

He smiled, "Not anymore. I broke up with her this morning."

I chocked on the meat and after finally swallowing it asked "What happend?"

"I didnt really like her and besides I like someone else more. I think if you like someone more than someone else than why be with another girl or a guy whos just keeping you from the one you really lo, im mean like."

I nodded, "I can see what you mean."

I looked away and asked, "Is that why you got so mad at me when I told you Troy was my boyfriend?"

He laughed and turned my face to him with his hand, "Yeah, because I really like you."

I than realized I couldnt breath only stay locked in his deep gaze, It almost felt like I was drowing or free-falling through space. He released my face and walked to the door, "I'll talk to you later."

Had that just happend I wondered and touched where his I could still feel the imprint of his hand.

If what he said was true than perhaps that meant I was in love with him.

After my brother got out of the shower he and Jacob turned on the T.V. and started watching Jackass, which I soon got into. Me and Jacob had not said another word since our conversation in my room and the silence was begining to get to me so I went outside and sat in the swing. I began to think about me and Troys releationship, we had been together for eight months and had our ups and downs but I did love him didnt I? How had I became so attracted to Jacob, I felt like my world was now incomplete. Perhaps I should break up with Troy, I mean I had caught him cheating over summer break with another girl and not done anything about it. If Troy loved me like he said then whyd he cheat, and had he quit?

"You okay?"

I turned in the tire swing and saw Jacob standing near me with a strange look on his face.

"Im fine, just thinking about some stuff."

He came over to me and grabbed the ropes holding the swing and gave me a push.

"About what?"

"Just things. I really dont feel like talking about that right now."

He suddenlly stopped the swing and kissed me.

Im stopping here guys :wink:

Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

Is this a review?



User avatar
122 Reviews

Points: 990
Reviews: 122

Fri Mar 17, 2006 12:17 am
Karma says...

Me like!
by the ay... Spell check, anyone?
just kidding, but not really :D

User avatar
67 Reviews

Points: 890
Reviews: 67

Mon Feb 13, 2006 8:27 pm
AngelBaby88 says...

thanks im just glad everyones enjoying it...iam working very hard on correcting just bear with me. :wink:

User avatar
1258 Reviews

Points: 6090
Reviews: 1258

Fri Feb 10, 2006 2:48 am
Sam wrote a review...

You have an absolutely GRAND storyline, dahling, but this story is seriously...ugh. Why? GRAMMAR! I shall become ze Grammar Nazi and lead you through some basic stuff to help this become the awesome story it deserves to be...


Always capitalize the first letter of names, places, and the beginning word of a sentence. This is a pretty basic rule that you should always remember for everything you're doing, because it really separates the people who have no idea what the heck they're doing and people who are pretty darn good at it.


Learn your contractions (don't, sha'n't, we'll) and use 'em well. 'Im' should be 'I'm', as well. To people who are looking for the proper form of that, the writing seems slurred and...just plain icky. Go through and put in apostrophes where they're needed- if you have any more questions about what should and shouldn't be a contraction, just ask me or consult a writing handbook.


The order you put people in when you mention is indeed important. No matter if you're an 'I' or a 'me', you always mention yourself. So it should be "Jacob and I" and not "Me and Jacob" in the above section.

Well, Grammar Nazi is finished with the big stuff. I can't wait for more story! (Be sure to do a quick-but-thorough grammar check before you post anything as well. Makes my job a bit easier. :wink:)

I was weeping as much for him as her; we do sometimes pity creatures that have none of the feeling either for themselves or others.
— Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights