Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: Overall this was a fairly well done story. It's seems to be continuing off from what sounds like a pretty interesting plot if this part is anything to go by and I think I shall be taking a look at this one sometime soon if I ever do run into another part of it. The story itself flows really well and its easy to understand what's going on for the most part.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Im just going to continue from where I left off.
Well dang looks like I should have tracked down the first part of this but I am feeling slightly too lazy so I hope muck up too many things by my lack of knowledge of what's going on in this story.
"Why do you ask?"
"You seem to off in your own little world, you know how you are when somethings up."
I sighed, "Its Tom again.''
Hmm standard opeing dialogue there. Not too much to drag readers but then since this is part two I suppose that's unnecessary but then I'm not sure exactly where in the story this is so I'll just mention that.
"Uh-huh, thats what I thought. Sometimes i really want to kill that excuse for a man if that much."
Okay those last three words "if that much" don't really make sense. I'm not sure what you are trying to say there.
I shrugged my shoulders and tried to concentrate on my algebra which was seeming to mix with my mood at the moment. I tapped on Aprils shoulder, she turned around.
Okay algebra appears here unless it appeared earlier in the chapter in which case I'm sorry but I haven't read that.
"Girls? Do we have a problem?"
We looked up to see Mrs.Sweeny calling to us.
"No." we both answered. "Then get back to work and dont make me tell you again."
We both giggled and got back to work. Hopefully in a week or so Id be livin with a new faimly somewhere where someone cared.
Well that's some classic mom talk although last line sounds really ominous.
Aaand that's it for this one.
Overall: So overall this was a fun little story to read although that ending was a little dark but then without the proper context I can't really judge that one. The characters here feel very real and they appear to have some personality and the conversation was also very natural and it was a pretty well written story.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Points: 254163
Reviews: 4102
Donate